Je n'ai pas pu m'empêcher de remarquer pour cette situation combien les réponses des français et des américains sont différentes : ce qui m'a le plus frapper c'est le fait qu'aucun américain n'est réellement choquer de se faire appeller par son prénom par un étranger et que personne ne lui ferait de remarque à ce sujet : une seule personne fait allusion au fait de lire son nom sur sa plaque et de lui rendre l'appareil et encore, la fin du message ("

I think it is a friendly gesture ne laisse

") ne laisse pas paraitre de sentiment d'irrespect ou autre...

D'où ma petite "conclusion" (c'est plutôt une question en fait !) : est-ce-que vous acceptez plus facilement ce genre de familiarité et pourquoi ? Parcequ'en fait, si l'on compare par exemple cette situation avec "

Vous êtes dans la rue, en ville. Quelqu'un du sexe opposé, que vous ne connaissez pas, vous aborde avec un grand sourire.

" On peut remarquer que les réactions sont totalement différentes de ce que l'on pourrait attendre après avoir examiner la situtation du chèque dans une banque...

On peut également rapprocher cette familiarité en comparant avec la France où les réponses sont complètement différentes : 8 personnes réagirait en demandant à l'employé d'arrêter de nous appeller par notre prénom et de nous vouvoyer : peut être que cela est du justement au fait qu'en France on differencie le tutoiement et le vouvoiement, et qu'il est assez "choquant" de se faire appeller "tu" par quelq'un que l'on ne connait pas (même si, lorsqu'on est jeune, c'est quand même courant et un peu moins choquant : encore une fois, cela dépend de la personne qui nous tutoie)

Je me disais aussi que puisque que le vouvoiement n'existe pas aux Etats Unis, peut être que le fait d'appeller quelqu'un par son prénom était aussi choquant que de tutoyer quelqu'un dans la rue. Et du coup j'ai été quand même relativement surprise en lisant vos réponses...!

Voili voilou : j'espère avoir été claire !!!

Clémence

Perhaps part of the reason we accept this familiarity more readily is due to our age and generation. Since we are young, maybe we don't expect to be addressed in a more formal way, since this is what we are used to as children and we tend to feel comfortable being informal, although it depends on who. I don't think many people my age expect to be addressed in a formal way. And also, as you said, since we don't have a distinction between "tu" and "vous" it tends to blur them together more than is possible in the French language.

I also found this forum particularly interesting since the differences between the French and American answers was so blatant.

Yeah I think it's interesting because it seems to me that in French culture there is an interesting dichotomy between friendliness and politeness. While more French students responded in the "sourire" list with comments like "je lui rends son sourire," French students were also much more against being called by their first names in this situation. I know that when I've been hiking in different places in France, people always say hello and smile while on a trail. But politeness in restaurants etc is also very important.

How do you perceive these issues in American culture?

Heyo!

I feel like we just have a different opinion of what is necessary for a situation to be considered polite. I feel like, for me at least, that it is not so much what you call someone, but the tone you use to address them. I've had coaches and adults before say to me, "you may call me by my first name, but only if you use it with respect." So yes, the use of a surname is important to show respect, but it's not as important as how you actually say it. For example, it would be better to address as an adult with, "Excuse me, Bob, may I have a word," than "Hey you, Mr. Jones, we need to talk." I'm not saying that the French don't use a respectful tone with their use of the surnames, I'm just pointing out what many Americans see as required politeness. Does this make any sense whatsoever?

Hello,

I believe that American responses do not rely on the generation/age factor, but rather in the emphasis French people put (since an early age) on the way you should speak to other people. In this respect, in the US the border between calling someone by their first name or last name is not very clear, and one can trespass that border, in many occasions, without making a big deal out of it. In France, on the other hand, there are certain rules of what you say and when you say it when you speak to someone (that is my perception), and a lot of emphasis is done on this both at French homes and schools.

I think this applies to many situations and not just to names. For instance, my perception is that in France people almost automatically say ''bon jour", "bon soir", “bonne journée”, etc, etc, and are by "rule" very polite, but this does not imply that you are friendly and/or in a good mood (i.e you can say "bonjour" with a bad expression on your face, and mean the opposite...).

In the US, what I see is that people don't give much importance to exactly WHAT you say but rather to HOW you say it. In other words, expressing a good emotion goes along with being polite. In France, what I perceive is that being polite in all aspects of your life is independent of your emotional state; there is a lot of importance given to what you say, but you can vary the way you say it.

I don't know if this makes sense at all, hehehe, but I was wondering if you guys could comment on this. This is an aspect that I think is very different in both cultures...

What do you think'

-Mauricio C.

Je pense que tu as raison : on insiste beaucoup sur être poli et sur ce qu'on dit : mais si quelqu'un me dit bonjour en tirant la tête, ca n'aura pas du tout le même effet que s'il me le dit avec le sourire !!! (évidemment !)

Et puis je préfère qu'on ne me dise pas bonjour plutôt que de lre dire en faisant bien comprendre à la personne que l'on ne le pense pas du tout : il n'y a rien de plus désagréable...!

Par contre, ce que je trouve "normal" c'est de se forcer à dire bonjour aux gensavec le sourire, même quand on est de mauvaise humeur parceque souvent ils n'y peuvent rien (les pauvres !), après tout ce n'est pas la mort de le faire ! Je n'aime pas quand je vois une personne que je connais m'éviter ou m'ignorer juste parcequ'elle est de mauvaise humeur pour la simple et bonne, raison que je ne le sais pas (qu'elle est de mauvaise humeur...)

Clémence

Bonjour Clemance,

We've been talking a lot about the distinctions of "formality" between the French and the Americans in class. Here's something we came up with:

In France it seems that the distinctions between one's private life and the life that is part of the public (public life, I guess...) is more defined. Also, the use of "tu" and "vous" helps to distinguish between the levels of formality and the people who you are close to, or are not close to.

So, in reference to the Bank teller using your "prenom" or "first name" and also using "tu", the French seemed to feel that it was inappropriate, but for Americans, it might only be viewed as someone being friendly and people many times like that formality. It makes the bank teller seem less like an "Anonymous worker" or "machine" and more "human." Informality is a way to connect with people, it's seen as being "genuine."

Another example we were talking about in class is if someone asks another person about their personal life. For example, if someone broke up with their "petit ami", a person might ask "what happened?", "How are you doing?", "What probems were you two having?", "How did you two meet?" , etc. And it seems that in France, that would be seen more as an invasion of privacy, but in the US, it could very well be seem as someone being friendly and showing that they truely care about the person and is interested.

Thus, informality in the US is often seen as being "genuine" and "down to earth." But I can definitely understand it being viewed as rude as well....

Tell me what you think....

Elyssa

Hello!

What interested me most about this question was the emphasis everyone put on the politeness aspect of the situation. Maybe it's just me, but I took the question to be more of a privacy issue. Banking is a personal matter, and I wouldn't want other people knowing if I'm taking out or putting in money, which is why I would prefer that my first name not be said.

Did anyone else see the question like this?

I'm not so sure about that ...

.... I work in Academic Services on campus and some of the things we do there are of a sensitive nature and therefore everything is classified as confidential. We call students by their first names whenever possible to a) try to make them feel more comfortable and b) it's usually more anonymous ... usually first names are more generic than last names.

I don't know ... I guess I viewed the question more as the bank teller confirming the information i.e. "Samantha?" not something like "Have a nice day Samantha!" I think the latter, out of the blue, would be weird. I wouln't be offended though, I'd just think they were strange and lonely.

je suis d'accord la question bancaire est et doit rester une question privée!

Mais sauf que l'on est pas obligé se faire appeller par son nom ou prénom : si l'on veut que les gens restent anonymes il suffit de les appeller "monsieur", "madame" ou "mademoiselle"...

Clémence