Les étudiants français et américains ont à peu près les mêmes réactions vis-à-vis de leurs parents. Ils acceptent les critiques quand elles sont fondées, mais savent aussi se défendre quand il le faut. Dans les deux cas, les notions de respect mutuel et communication restent essentiellles. Les français semblent cependant un peu plus durs avec leurs parents, dans leur vocabulaire au moins. Quand ils se défendent, les américains sont plus nuancés, ce qui m'a un peu étonné car ils me semblent plus détachés de leurs parents en général.

Les réactions sont assez variées. Tout d'abord, un assez grand nombre de personnes acceptent la critique, peut être plus facilement en France. Ensuite, certaines personnes estiment que c'est impossible, que leurs parents n'oseraient pas. Beaucoup (davantage du côté américain que du côté français) décident plutôt d'en parler plus tard, une fois les amis partis, solution qui semble la plus convenable vis-à-vis des amis qui n'ont a-priori rien à voir avec la querelle. Enfin, une assez grande proportion de Français et certains Américains décident de régler le problème tout de suite, soit en discutant soit en s'énervant. De manière générale, un telle situation suscite de la gêne et les différences entre nos deux cultures ne sont pas importantes, nous avons tous les mêmes réactions dans des proportions légèrement différentes.

J'ai remarqué beaucoup de points communs, que l'on peut sans doute rapprocher des résultats assez proches sur les amis, et une seule différence m'a sauté aux yeux (je les ai peut-être gardés dans mes poches...) : quelques américains pensent que la situation proposée, être critiqué par ses parents devant ses amis, est irréaliste. Ce pourrait être l'indice d'une plus grande confiance dans les parents, ou une réapparition du "love me whatever I do" déjà pas mal débattu.

Michael, I disagree with your idea that we are detached from our parents. I agree that our parents do not have the same role in our lives as your parents do. And in fact, most American children do not spend as much time with their parents as the French do. However, I do not think that time is the only measure of closeness between parents and children. I think American students show that they are more likely to be open with parents about opinions and perhaps have an almost peer relationship with them as they reach college age.
It seemed to me that American students were less likely to accept the criticism from their parents. But that may be from another variable. We tend to place a lot of importance on our friends and on their opinions. I would feel that my parents were hurting our mutual respect by saying something in front of my friends rather than saying something in private.

I think for either side, how you take your parents' criticism depends on how self-confident you are. If you are embarassed or mad, is it because of the comment, or the presence of your friends? If it's friends, that is a little odd because presumably that should actually reassure you, because you should know that your friend is not going to ridicule you or think negatively of you after your parent's criticism. Just the thought that your parent's comment means everything in the world and will affect your friends' impressions greatly is probably not very constructive. What is it about the parent's criticism that is so different from a stranger's, or a friend's, or even another family member's? What do you guys think?

Personally, I don't understand why most of the American side sees parent's criticism as something that should not happen because they would feel frustrated, not respected by parents, etc. I think parents should intervene in our lifes because they know more about life than we do. They love us, therefore if they criticize us is because they think we are doing something wrong. They say what they think we should change and it is our decision to change it or leave it as it is. I think many Americans are interpreting the word criticism as 'saying you are wrong', but I think of it as constructive criticism. Parents won't criticize you as other people might do ( saying gossips, for example). They do it because they think you should improve your way of life. And doing that is not a form of disrespecting your feelings, they just try to guide you through the right path. I think by criticizing us now, they keep us from suffering later.

I thought French students are more willing to accept criticisms from their parents than American students are. More French students feel that it is their parents' rights to criticize them while we're more likely to defend themselves in front of their friends. Another interesting observation was from one of the American students who said that "Implausible they wouldn't do that. My parents respect my feelings too much". Once again, they use the word "feeling" which Americans often do than French students.

I have been trying to get an answer for this question in both the word forums, and the sentence completion forums. I am going to ask again because I believe it is a huge indicator of parent/child attitudes. When do parents in France, if they do at all, expect their children to move out? When do children want to move out? I just believe that moving out is a serious step that reflects many of the independence attitudes.