bonjour

je tenais absolument a repondre sur ce sujet étant moi même un grand amateur de cinéma.

La première chose qu'on remarque en lisant les réactions c'est que, bien entendu, les Français comme les Américains considèrent comme impoli le fait que quelqu'un parle au cinéma. Pourtant il y'as quand même une importante différence de comportement. En effet il y'as trois réaction possible a ce type de comportement : les ignorer, les regarder méchament, les engueuler...

La plus part des Américains essayent dans cet situations de rester poli : regard noir ou plus simplement indiférence Les Français quand à eux sont moins tolérant vis à vis d'un tel comportement et préfère le faire remarquer ouvertement. Je trouve amusant de voir cet différence de réaction

manu aka Pikachu

I completely agree with Emanuel. I too find it interesting that the Americans would much rather just stare at the person or move to another seat, then tell the person directly. I think that this could partially be because some Americans think it is impolite to do that. Often I feel that if I do tell a person to be quiet, he would give me a dirty look.

I agree with the two above comments, but I would like to add my perspective. I think Americans prefer indirect methods because we don't like to interfere in other people's lives. This is the notion of libertarianism - let people do as they please so long as it doesn't interfere with the rights of others. If you respect the rights of others, they should likewise respect yours. By simply giving a look of disapproval, we are assuming the the loud movie-goers are unaware of their loudness; however, if they still do not respond to this action and continue to speak loudly, then we will resort to asking them directly because the social understanding have been broken. I don't know how many people agree with this, but I offer it as an explanation.

Being from another country, I just wanted to note that I agree with Irene in that many times I've noticed how American's strive to be very polite, for example sometimes at amusement parks when people cut the line (even though there is another forum on this exact topic) people will not say anything. If it were in Costa Rica were I'm from, you would have people whistling loadly and screaming (yes screaming) until the person left. It seems that the American way strives to avoid direct confrontation and will engage in it only as a last resort. Something that seems commendable under certain circumstances.

This isn't directly related to this topic, but are there problems in France with people talking on cell phones when it really isn't appropriate, such as in a movie or during lecture? These are the people who are much less likely to stop talking when asked. They also talk much more loudly than people chatting during a movie (probably because of the lack of feedback in the phone), so they are that much more annoying.

I agree with Craig that most Americans tend to avoid confrontation in public places. I think one reason may be because we cannot predict the outcome after the confrontation. Of course, it's not very serious in a movie theater (depending on what area of the city you're in) but it can be serious in other cases such as traffic. If someone cuts you off or tailgates you, my parents always advise me to ignore it. If I react in a more aggresive or challenging manner, then who knows if the driver of the other car will do something crazy and end up hurting me. In the news there are a lot of stories about road rage and people taking out guns to deal with it. Although this example is a little extreme compared to talking during a movie I think it's very related. Also, talking during a movie is not seen as a big deal and something to get really angry about, which I suppose is why most people just sit there annoyed rather than ending it quickly with a polite "can you please stop talking". Another example I want to bring up that is related to confrontation is being charged a little too much (as in around a dollar) at a store. My mom is very anal about this (which is true for many Asian parents I think) and will go to the customer service desk or complain at the checkout everytime the price is even 10 cents off (especially at the supermarket). I tend to not care just because I'd rather avoid the confrontation and the bother. How do the French feel about confrontation when it comes to service at stores/restaurants, etc.? Are the French more aggressive or passive?

Christine

Hi, I agree with Christine that the passive attitude from the American is due to the uncertainty of the outcome or reaction. I certainly don't confront a lot of people just for that reason. However, I think the manner at which you ask someone to be quiet is a factor as well. I think if you ask them politely to be quiet since we are in a theatre, the outcome would not be so bad. On the other hand, what actually happens here in the States is that when someone wants to ask someone else to be quiet, they'll swear and be rude to the person. I know whoever talks in a cinema deserved to be screamed at, but I think doing it politely will be more effective. It will also reduce the risk of a violent or aggressive reaction.

=) there is so much talk about social skills and confrontation. i think it's funny because sometime i feel like i'm uncomfortable speaking to people i don't know well, so i will go out of my way to avoid having to even talk to them, much less confront them! but maybe with increased technology (like the computer forums we're using right now), we may be able to avoid people altogether! of course this could be very bad for people's social skills, etc, but i don't see how things are going to change from the direction they're headed, which is less and less social confrontations unless absolutely necessary. is this at all a trend in France? are computers playing any effect of the amount of social comfort or confrontation ease?

have to confess : I don't tell people in the US to shut up because I am nervous about how they might react.