A rude person

Une personne impolie

disrespects others.
does not treat other people with respect. Someone
who is excessively nosy and does not respect the privacy of others is
also rude.
from Boston
who breaks into private converssations, insults other
people, is gauche(socially)
who disrespects other people
who does not care about how their actions will affect
others.
who does not care about the feelings of other people.

who does not know or use standard manners, chooses
to ignore basic propriety
who does not pay attention to other's reactions.
who doesn't mind his own business
who doesn't respect others' point of view, interupts
the others
who has poor manners.
who interupts you when you speak
who is a good talker but a bad listener.
who is impatient and offensive.
who is impolite, says things they may mean, but before
they can stop themselves from saying it.
who is inconsiderate of other people.
who is thoughtless of space others might taking surrounding
him, who is unaware of the comfort of others.
who says unnecessary bad things
who shouts with no reason, who attacks with no reason

who shows no respect or consideration for those around
him.
who thinks that he/she is the only person in this
world, and doesn't seem to care about anyone or anything
who treats people badly for no reason.
who will speak his mind without thinking how other
will feel about it.
who yells in public, shoves people, has no manners

à éduquer
d'égocentrique qui ne respecte pas son voisin.

d'égoiste, qui ne prête pas attention
aux autres
d'exubérant
de mal élevé.
de mal élevée
désagréable

ne dit pas bonjour, ne répond pas
ne pense qu'à elle seule
qui coupe la parole, d'égoiste,
qui dit la vérité
qui dit pardon tous le temps (non je n'ai pas inversé
les deux !!!)
qui manque de respect pour elle même
qui n'a pas appris à respecter les autres.

qui ne mérite pas le respect
qui ne reconnait pas la valeur de chacun
qui ne respecte pas autrui, qui ne pense qu'à
sa propre personne
qui ne respecte pas l'autre
qui ne respecte pas les autres
qui ne respecte pas les autres
qui ne se rend pas compte de l'existence de certains
usages parfois contre-intuitifs.
qui ne se rend pas compte qu'il n'est pas seul au
monde.
qui prend la liberté d'expression d'autrui

qui évite les autres et ne parle à personne

se fout complètement des autres et donc de
soi même.
un peu trop libre

Discussion

Les points de vue des deux écoles se rejoignent sur la question de l'impolitesse. Etre impoli, c'est avant tout se comporter de manière égocentrique en manquant de respect envers autrui. De nombreux exemples sont donnés de part et d'autre : couper la parole des autres, ne pas hésiter à les blesser gratuitement.

salut! J'ai comparé les réponses a propos de l'impolitesse et elles sont sensiblement les memes pour les deux pays. Quelqu'un d'impoli manque de respect, n'écoute pas les autres et se croit la seule personne au monde. Saluer les autres a de l'importance pour les Français. Les Américains me semblent moins sensibles a la hierarchie entre les personnes. En France, on vouvoie une personne qu'on connait peu, ou plus agée ou avec qui on a des relations professionnelles. Cette distinction n'existe pas en anglais. De plus, vous semblez utiliser plus facilement les prénoms, meme dans les lettres professionnellles, alors que nous employons Mr ou Mme Untel. Mais est-ce que ça ne pose pas de probleme pour les relations d'autorité? On a l'impression que vous voulez instaurer des relations plus chaleureuses. Mais ça nous semble impoli d'appeler quelqu'un par son prénom ou de le tutoyer des le début, et la personne la plus agée doit commencer. C'est pour nous une marque de respect. Une derniere question: pourquoi les habitants de Boston passent-ils pour des impolis aux USA? A bientôt, Sophie

Salut! En fait, je suis en gros d'accord avec ce qu'a écrit Sophie, j'ai juste une petite question à rajouter. Quelqu'un d'entre vous a écrit qu'il trouvait impoli si qqn était de 'gauche'. J'aimerais bien savoir ce que la personne voulait dire par là. Si c'est une allusion politique, je trouve que c'est un peu fort de dire que c'est mal poli d'avoir tel ou tel opinion politique. Je veux dire, aussi longtemps quand ne nuit à personne, on a le droit d'avoir ces idées, ces opinions, non? Enfin, je n'ai peut-être pas très bien compris ce que voulait exprimer la personne. Je trouve tout simplement que la politesse n'a rien à voir avec les opinions qu'on peut avoir. Au contraire, je trouve plutôt mal poli de ne pas respecter les idées des autres. Ce serait bien si la personne se manifestait et m'expliquait son point de vue. Merci. A bientôt. Maud

Jennifer M Bonnell (jbonnell@MIT.EDU)

In school I have always been taught to call teachers and professors by their last names. In the workplace though, calling someone by their first name is usually a priveledge that comes with knowing that person well. If someone particularly asks that they be called by their last names, it is considered polite to do so.

I also feel the need to reply to the Boston question, having lived in Boston all of my life! I believe that people in Boston are no more rude that in a busy city like New York; most highly urban cities are noisy and have more commotion than less urban places. I think perhaps a lot of MIT students come from less urban places, and this influences their opinion of Boston. That being said, Boston

does

have a particular repuation for rude driving! People blatantly disobey traffic lights, stop signs, and turn signal rules, not to mention cutting people off, yelling and honking gratuitously. I have heard that the only place significantly worse to drive is around the Arc de Triomph in Paris. =)

Dear INT students, Yes, I agree Americans are a lot quicker to be on a first-name basis than in most other cultures. With authority figures such as teachers and professors, we usually start out and _remain_ on a "Mr.__" or "Mrs.___" or "Professor___" (last name) basis. In other parts of our lives, i.e., with neighbors, people sometimes start out formally, but then switch to a first name basis after knowing each other for a while. Among friends and friends of friends, one would usually start out on a first name basis. I think in our culture this signals warmth and friendliness, not a lack of respect. In the work place, it depends on the type of environment. I work in an academic research lab, and everyone usually refers to our boss by his first name, not as "Professor ____." That is because I talk to him and see him every day. If I were only taking a class from him and saw him only in a formal class setting I would always call him "Professor ____." Calling my boss by his first name is normal even though he is much older and is very established. It is not a sign of disrespect; it's just the culture here. My question to you is: do you think it is rude for an American to call you by your first name the first time he/she meets you? Does it matter how old he/she is compared to you, and if he/she is meeting you in a work setting or at a party?

Suzanne

Dear Sophie,

I am afraid that I must agree with the statement about Boston. OF all the cities in the United States that I have visited, or lived in, I find Boston inhabitants to be the most rude people. Boston drivers are the worst. I bicyle around the city to get from one place to another and I have been hit a few tiems by drivers who have no respect for others and do not pay attention to their surrounding. I find Boston drivers will never let anyone pass by.

I also find Boston inhabitants to be informal, and rude to strangers. I find my hometown of Chicago to be much better in this respect. Perhaps Boston is this way because the city is so crowded, the trains are packed with people, and the traffic is bad. The city has streets that twist and wind and end up in strange directions, making it difficult for people to travel through the city with ease.

-Ashley

Salut! Moi je ne considère pas comme mal poli quand quelqu'un de mon age m'appelle par mon prénom dès le départ. Au contraire... Je donne des cours à des enfants du quartier et ils sont tout le temps en train de dire Madame, par ci, Madame par là. Ca me fait sourire et je leur dis toujours de m'appeler par mon prénom. Pour répondre à la question de Suzanne, cela dépend vraiment de la situation. Si je suis à mon lieu de travail, il est normal que l'on s'appelle par le nom de famille avec les supérieurs. Pour moi cela signifie aussi une certaine distance nécessaire pour bien travailler. A une fête, ça change bien sûr. Déjà, je pense que l'on se retrouve plutôt entre personnes ayant à peu près le même âge et je trouve donc naturel de s'appeler par prénom tout de suite et de se tutoyer. Le 'you' en anglais facilite beaucoup les choses. Parfois quand on ne sait pas s'il faut ou non tutoyer la personne, ce serait bien de l'avoir ce 'you'. Pour ce qui a été dit des habitants de Boston, je peux vous rassurer que c'est la même chose à Paris. Tout le monde a l'air très stressé, toujours à la bourre etc. Ne parlons surtout pas de la circulation. Quand vous venez à Paris, d'autres règles comptent. Jetez votre code de la route!!! Jamais je n'oserais prendre une bicyclette à Paris. Ca claxonne dans tout les sens, ça guele, ça s'énerve pour un rien et en gros: CA N'AVANCE PAS!!! Un feu rouge, ça sert à quoi??? Dans les couloirs du metro, on ne marche pas, on court... Mais je crois que c'est la même chose dans toutes les grandes villes.A bientôt. Maud

Hi all,

Regarding to treating people on first-name basis at work, I can relate to my working experience. Then, the objective was to transmit that all the office was a team, and that even though there were different levels, senior people were approachable. I think the belief was that people would feel less stress to communicate to their superiors if they can start the sentence with the first and not the last name.

In terms of the rudeness in big cities like Boston and Paris (and NY, and LA), it seems to be a common pattern. People is highly stressed, too much concerned about their own things, and tend to forget that there's a world around. People don't ask but demand, not talk but shout, etc.

I have a question...how do you use vous and tu with your friends? Do you use both, or only tu?

Carolina

hi !! I come from Sri Lanka and one of the languages we speak there is Sinhala. In Sinhalese the translations to the words "please" and "thank you" is hardly used when speaking. This is because when you want to be polite in sinhalese you do so not by using specific words but by the tone of your voice. So often when Sri Lankan people speak English they foget to use "please" and "thank you".In fact when foriegners come to the island and hear us speak english they say it is as if we are reciting a poem as the tone fluctuates with the mood that is trying to be conveyed. Do any of you know another language where the tone is important ? I want to say Italian but I might just be confusing tone and accent !!

Hi,

I am from Saudi Arabia, and I have to admit how shocked I was when I came to study at the states. I found that students call teachers by their first names, which is something unheard of back in Saudi Arabia. What shocked me even more is having students raise their feet in the face of professors or teachers!! I still remember the first time this happened in front of me at an American high school and the teacher didn't say anything. I guess it is a cultural thing.

Even though I haven't really worked in Saudi Arabia, but I think it is a bit more formal than the business environment here. I see my father's colleagues calling him "Engineer…" and similarly with the doctors and other professions. The word Mr. or Mrs. is pronounced naturally when meeting older people. When it is a bit informal, we still call older people by "Uncle" or "Aunt", which is interesting because I have never seen Americans call older people "Uncle" or "Aunt".

Do you use Uncle and Aunt as prefixes to some of the older people you know? On a different note, our French professor once said that it was considered rude to eat during class in France, is that still considered rude? Or are the standards of rudeness changing?

Salut Rayan! Nous n'appelons personne "oncle" ou "tante" si cette personne n'a pas vraiment ce lien familial evec nous. Pour en revenir au comportement en classe, c'est vraiment qu'on ne mange pas en cours. Certains profs interdisent même de voir des élèves macher du chewing gum en classe (surtout en primaire et au collège). Mais il est vrai que lors des cours en amphi où il y a parfois plus de 100 élèves, il est toléré de boire un café ou une canette. Le problème de la nourriture, c'est que tu te sens obligé de partager quand tu manges en classe et il y a plus de personnes qui elles aussi ont faim! En fait, on préfère aller prendre quelque chose avec des amis à la cafétéria lors des pauses, c'est plus convivial que de manger seul à sa table et moins gênant pour les voisins. A bientôt, Sophie

Hi Again Sophie, That is an interesting point you made about sharing the food. I never thought of that as a concern here in the states. Generally, people are not obliged to invite their neighbors for the food they have. Actually, from what I have seen is that you are not really expected to invite the people around you for food except if you were generous. I can see how inviting your neighbors can cause problems in lectures, but I guess that problem doesn't exist. I certainly like the system of eating in class. I am always busy during the day and I enjoy it when I bring my sandwitch and drink to lecture and eat it without being in a rush like as usual :)

Rayan -

Calling people Uncle and Aunt does exist in the US. At overnight camps, head counselors are called Uncle and Aunt. (I went to a camp run by Uncle Ted, Uncle Bill, and Aunt Becky.) Also, small children are often introduced to friends of family as uncle and aunt. My Uncle Sidney was just a friend of my grandparents, as was my Aunt Vivian. I know a lot of friends with similar relationships to older family friends. Here, those titles indicate familiarity, but also respect for older age. They are also only used (at least initially) when a child is pretty young. I still talk about "uncle Sidney" though.