A good parent

Un bon parent

cares about his or her children, provides everything necessary

cares about their child(ren), loves them, and is willing to make sacrifices for their child (ren).

diciplines his children.

educates, nurtures, cares.

finds talent in his or her children and helps develop it, encourages his or her children in any positive endeavor they may pursue, protects his or her children from their own inexperience

gives his or her children lots of attention, cooks well, and is supportive.

is active in their children’s education; spends time each day playing sports and or talking with their child; is affectionate; teaches the child respect and self-discipline; helps their child to develop their own goals and gives motivation and ideas to their child to reach their aspirations with.

is caring and leads by a good example

is caring, teaches lessons, is available

is kind, caring, and a good friend to her children.

is loving, supportive, nurturing, and motivating

is supportive.

knows how to instill discipline in their children but at the same time, foster a relationship in which the children feel free to talk to their parents about anything.

lenient, encouraging, supportive

listens to the child. loving, easy to talk to, strict

loves and disciplines his or her children.

loves their children; is not afraid to say 'no';spends time with their children.

puts the child's needs before her own.

raises their children in the best way they know how to.

sets a good example for his/her children.

sets a good example his child, is understanding yet firm, allows the child to be who he is

teaches and disciplines his/her children.

teaches the child everything before they are 3.

wants the life of their child to be better than their own, tries to support their family as best as they can, raises their children in a safe environment

éduque, est tendre, sait écouter

doit toujours être présent en cas de besoin.

donne confiance à son enfant, lui donne envie de découvrir le monde, lui apprend à rêver

est celui qui t´apprend à vivre tes premières années et la personne qui sera toujours avec toi quand tu auras besoin de lui

est exigeant sans être stupide et autoritaire

est super sympa, laisse la maison à ses enfants pour faire la fête

gentil, respecté, passionné

inculque des valeurs fortes, est toujours présent, ne juge pas mais sait guider dans les choix

ne bat pas son enfant.

ne donne pas de claque mais fait comprendre en expliquant les choses

qui sait développer la personnalité de ses enfants et leur donner la notion de la structure du monde

sert comme modèle à un enfant

transmet des valeurs de respect, apprend à l'enfant à se débrouiller seul progressivement

Discussion

J'ai été marquée pa

Pardon pour le petit probleme...J'ai été marquée par une différence flagrante : alors que les Américains parlent énormément d'amour ("caring, loves, nurtures, affectionate, friend"...), les francais y font très peu référence. Les Francais parlent plutôt de valeurs, de respect, de confiance et de présence que d'amour. Une autre remarque est que les francais décrivent les objectifs qu'un bon parent doit atteindre : donner confiance, donner envie de découvrir le monde, apprendre à vivre, développer sa personnalité... alors que les Americains parlent plutôt des moyens pour y arriver : talking, playing, cooks well, education, teaches, encourages. J'ai été surprise des résultats de cette comparaison, en particulier le fait que l'amour apparaisse si peu chez les francais m'étonne beaucoup... peut-être que nous sommes plus pudiques vis-à-vis de ça...

I noticed the very same thing, that Americans do put a lot more significance on the "love" component of the parent-child relationship. At first I thought perhaps French parents do not love their children (just kidding). Actually if you look at last year's responses, you do notice some mentions of love on the French side, so there is in fact some of this spoken about in French culture, but not nearly as much as on the American side. The most valid reason for this I can come up with is that love is much more implicit in the French culture. Of course parents love their children, and so it is reasonable to assume that speaking of this love is unnecessary, perhaps even pretentious as it is so obvious. In fact, apart from the parent-child relation, the concept of explicit vs implicit love is very distinct between American and French culture. There seems to be a greater drive to express love in spoken form in American culture, where in other cultures there is more of a "show-not-tell", or perhaps, just love based on assumption. I'm ethnically Russian, and I definitely feel this assumption theory is very applicable to my background culture, and even though I really consider myself American, I still inherently treat love as something implicit, something that doesn't necessarily need to be spoken of, but just felt and understood to exist.

I found that the American responses seemed extremely idealistic with the overuse of love, whereas the French responses seemed more realistic to me. It also seems to the French, a good parent is someone who inspires and helps them search for his/her own path in life. Do you think maybe French children learn to become more independent than American children?

It seems to me that American parents emphasize the importance of "letting their children find themselves" and encouraging them to "be who they are." I know this is a very unique trend in America, after being raised by Asian parents who always told me to "be who I want to be under the condition that I will be successful at it and make an adequate income." Is there any trend among parents in France to instill similar constraints on what futures their children can choose? Or are there no constraints? I noticed two interesting comments on the French side that made me wonder. Is "hitting children" a very controversial disciplinary technique among parents?

Many americans really emphasized loving and caring for their children, but that didn't seem to appear on the french side. It seems like the french responses are usually more generalized and the american ones more specific, but in this case it seemed like the other way around. For example, the responses "letting your kids throw a party" and "not hitting your kids" seemed to fall in a different category of descriptions than "loving your child" or "being there for them". Any idea why there is such a difference?

I have heard similar comments from my sister-in-law who is from Norway. As my brother's wife she is treated equally as a member of the family and I have noticed from the way she talks about her and my brother's interactions with her family that there is a distinct difference in the interaactions between family members, particularly our parents. While my parents offer advice in pursueing my educational career and thinking of what I might want to do for a living after I graduate, they are above all concerned with my happiness at school. --- At the same time, I feel as though the parenting I I exprienced is very different from most people and even somewhat different from my older brothers. though I see my dad, step-mom and half siblings on a regular basis, I have lived with my mom for most of my life. When I went to high school in Maine where most of my friends had very tight-knit, trasitional families, I noticed a few distinctions between the way their parents raised them and the way I have been raised. While my om had the final say on what i was allowed to do, I was able to make more decision for myself and my mom was more concerned with teaching me on how to make reasonable decisions instead of making good decisions for me. in contrast, my friends that cam from more traditional families were much more closely under control of their parents and, as a consequence, some Ithough not all) were more likely to feel constrained or rebelious. Out of concern for their children and wanting what's best for them, itseems true in certain communities that American paretns becom very, almost overly imvolved in their kids lives. Living in a fairly affluent town, a lot of the kids in my school said that their parents often put a lot of pressure on them to achieve certain standards. At the same time however, as Judy hinted at, i don't think the white American families ever put quite as much pressure on their children as do other cultures. In comparison, for better or for worse, we are more sensitive about limits of pressure that a parent should put on their childto drive them to succeed.

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