On a a peu près tous les même réaction du côté français et américain si quelqu'un passe devant on lui fait remarquer que l'on était avant sauf bien sur si c'est une " masse " lol

Les français citent plus souvent les mots "poliment", gentiment", etc...alors que du côté américain, le mot polite n'apparaît qu'une seule fois.

I think the reactions are very similar comparing the US and french sides.

Yoan:

i didn't notice until you pointed that out! i think people in the states behave differently depending on the regions they are from or currently living. For example: people from what i call high-stress-level regions like New York, Boston... react rather strongly to this kind of situation ( telling the person off in a rather aggressive manner)

I was thinking: what if we added a twist to the situation, the person who cut the line was someone who looks fierce/ possibly drunk/ very bulky? or it was an elderly woman? 

Je pense comme vous que les réponses sont plus ou moins similaires.

Pour te répondre Linhn , je pense que si la personne était saoule ou costaud, je ne lui aurait rien dit par peur des représailles.

et si c'était une femme d'un certain âge je l'aurai volontiers laissé passer, je pense que c'est normal que nous respections les personnes plus âgés que nous.

et toi, dans cette situation , comment aurais-tu réagis.?

Je pense au contraire que même si c'est une personne agée elle devrai savoir que ce n'est pas poli!! ce sont elles (les personnes agées) qui sont les premières à nous faire une remarque dans ce genre de situations, par contre ceu sont aussi elles qui sont les premières à faire tout de travers. Après tout ils sont en retraite, n'ont -ils pas le temps d'attendre? (rien de méchant bien sur!!)

Lucie

I think I would react a little bit differently from you

for the case of a bulky/strong/drunk guy, I actually would still tell the person to go to the back of the line, but with a smile on my face the whole time. This is when I am thankful that I am a woman. Somehow, I feel that a man usually won't start a fight/argument with a woman. BUT, if it is a bulky/strong/drunk woman, I would probably stay away. Cat fights are nasty

For the elderly person case: I think it depends on whether the person is really elderly. Like if he/she is using a walking stick and can barely stand up straight. I would give away my place immediately. If the person is perfectly fine, I would have the same sentiment like Elodie's

Linh,

je suis surpris de voir que tu crains les bagarres entre filles! Ici, les filles n'avaient pas l'habitude de se battre comme les garçons, mais il y a eu un reortage l'autre jour sur les gang de banlieue, et ce sont des filles! Est-ce que c'est pareil chez vous?

Etant une fille, j'aurais très peur de me faire casser la figure par un type; en fait, je dirais quelque chose si la personne n'a pas trop l'air intimidant ou louche ou loubard!

La dernière fois que je suis allé en Angleterre avec mon lycée, on s'est fait attraper car à l'arrêt de bus, personne n'avait respecté la queue, on ne s'était même pas rendu compte qu'il y en avait une, tellement c'est normal de ne pas la faire en France! Les anglais étaient très en colère et nous étions très gené.

I think that no matter who the person is they shouldn't be cutting in line. However, I don't know if I would confront them because one never knows what fighting skills they may have. However, if it was an elderly person I would probably just let them go.

I have a question for both groups (American and French): When you tell someone that has cut in line to go back to where the line starts, will that person usually do what you are asking? or will the person just ignore you?

Both sides have similar responses. Yoan, you pointed out that the French side mentions "poliment" and "gentiment" more often, and I think that this may be simply due to the nature of the French language/culture. I have come across many expression that are inherently more polite in French.

Take, for example the phrase "Je voudrais". In English, at a restaurant, most people would say "Can I get ...?". There would be no need to use the conditional tense. Similarly, I think French people are more proper in their speaking by nature, and I think that this explains the reason so many people mentioned "gentiment" or "poliment".

Lina,

Personally, I belive more in action. In fact, I would not bother with telling them where the line ends; I would just cut right in front of them as well and dare them to try to be stubborn about it. Problem would be if they tried to make it a game and do it again but that would have to be a case of some serious boundary issues.

I agree with Linh's "people from high-stress-level regions" explanation.

I'm not used to line cutting. In a situation with lots of hectic line cutting, while boarding a plane for example, I just wait it out. If preventive measures like body language fail, I don't feel it's worth it for me to confront someone who I already know is rude over a rare event of small consequence. If this was a constant problem, maybe I'd try harder to do something about it?

I think it's really interesting that the french should mention "explaning" things so much more often. Both sides of responses mention confrontational strategies, but the Americans say "tell them off," or "get angry at them," and in general "get in their face." It seems like the French take an approach that is closer to trying to reason the person back into their place, or perhaps guilt-trip them into doing the better thing. It's almost as if the Americans say "what the hell are you doing?" and the French say "remember your manners."

Why do you think this is? Could it be because the French themselves are too well-mannered to get angry and yell at a random stranger for a comparatively small offense?

Pour revenir à la question de la vieille dame qui ne fait pas la queue... Je trouve qu'en France et même en Europe, les personnes agées profitent un peu de leur situation. Il m'est arrivé très souvent qu'en faisant la queue, les personnes agées passaient devant moi sans même me regarder. Autre cas de figure: tout le monde fait la queue à, par exemple, l'accueil d'un magasin et, quand c'était mon tour, l'employée a demandé à la vieille dame de passer devant moi!!! Ceci dit, ces histoires datent uin peu... je ne sais pas vraiment si c'est les personnes agées qui profitent de cette situation ou si ce sont les jeunes qui sont laissés de côté dans les grandes surfaces... des avis?

Josephine, I do think that in American culture, we're forgiving of the elderly or someone crippled skipping lines. I think it's fair, because when I'm old, I would appreciate that nice gesture.

"Take, for example the phrase "Je voudrais". In English, at a restaurant, most people would say "Can I get ...?". There would be no need to use the conditional tense. Similarly, I think French people are more proper in their speaking by nature, and I think that this explains the reason so many people mentioned "gentiment" or "poliment"." Good point Anshul, I do think that it's a part of language and not the physical gesture of being more polite.

Some French responses that inform the line cutter of the evil of his ways may take a tone that's authoritative or disciplinary or superior. Like, "Young man, let me tell you something, you're being disrespectful...and all of society loses." I don't know, but it could sound uptight to talk that way in english. Whereas the american responses are less elegant and more brusk, and probably would sound really boorish in french. Like, "Hey, I'm as rude and uneducated as you are and you better not get in my way!!" Maybe it's not a structural difference between french and english languages, but a difference about how french people want to sound and be perceived and how americans do...different ideas of what it means to keep your dignity in public?

Anshul makes a good point about the French way of speaking, with "je voudrais" against "can I get" as an example.  But I think that because saying je voudrais is their natural way of speaking, they don't consider it to be extra polite or nice.  I think that when they mention "poliment" or "gentiment", they actually mean that they're trying to be polite, on top of using words like "je voudrais"--as in maybe their tone of voice? What do the French students think about this issue?

Also, I guess a flip side to thinking about this question would be, what would be most effective at getting you to move to the back of the line if you had cut the line yourself? Someone asking you nicely, or someone being straightforward and borderline rude? (obviously it depends on who is telling you, and how long the line is, etc. but if you had to make generalizations, which would be more effective?)

I don't see why people are saying that the responses are very similar. Yes, most of us would've reacted to the situation by trying to retain our places in line, but there's so much more being said in the attitudes that are projected and the approaches being taken.

The French responses seem to indicate that the person cutting in line probably didn't know where the line ended or just ended up there without meaning to cut someone, and the simple act of informing them that a line existed was enough to appease the situation. If not that, then the French emphasize politeness and expect mutual agreement from the "cutter". 

Americans (at least in my opinion) are very opportunistic, impatient, and always try to find ways to get OUT of lines. In fact, I think waiting for something in America is inherently uncool, and you must always get what you want immediately (FastPass tickets at amusement parks, knowing the bouncer at night clubs,...). As a result and just from my experience, I feel that Americans expect people to have the worst intentions when they cut in line and thus they have more aggressive reactions. It's very true that, as Linh said, location matters. You'll get a different response from a Californian than from a New Yorker. But still, with a culture that encourages its people to pursue anything they want, you can't expect most Americans to take kindly to others that interfere with that pursuit.

"Can I get..." in my opinion is moving towards the polite scale. If I wanted to be very blunt, I'd be like "I want...". Maybe I'm overly polite sometimes, but I use "I'd like ...", the conditional mood, like "je voudrais".

So I think most people would agree that they'd let the elderly pass them in line, the thing is that this can be taken advantage of very easily; some people are posers/fakers. In fact, let's do some more imagining, what if that old person was simply in line so that they could switch out with someone else? Someone younger? Then what? (Like what if this was completely deliberate and in-your-face obvious?)

And why is it that we let elderly and women precede us in any line? It sounds like a dumb question, but I'm just curious on why you guys think this is so. (The scene that's popping into my head right now is from "Titanic", where the people filling the lifeboats ask for women and children first, possibly elderly as well, but definitely not the [younger] men).

Anton,

Je trouve ta question intéressante et j'espère que beaucoup de personnes vont y répondre! Pourquoi accorder la priorité à un certain type de personne? J'imagine que c'est un vieux reste de la galanterie excessive qui existait autrefois. Pour Titanic, c'est même une sorte d'héroïsme, les jeunes hommes qui se sacrifient pour les femmes, les enfants et les personnes âgées...

Bref, pour en revenir aux personnes âgées qui nous dépassent dans une file d'attente... Comme Jamie, je pense qu'à leur âge j'apprécierait aussi qu'on me laisse passer avant. Cependant, c'est seulement si j'en ai besoin. Le nombre de personnes âgées qui ne nouys dépassent pas juste pour raconter le dernier potin qu'ils ont entendu à la boulangère! =)

La galanterie, oui, mais la galanterie, ça ne se demande pas (personne n'a donc le droit selon moi de dépasser une autre personne dans une file d'attente sans y être invité). Mais si on faisait une remarque à quelqu'un qui nous dépasse, quelles serait les réactions? Je pense que chacun se pose cette question avant d'agir en public. Si on s'énerve contre une pauvre vieille dame qui voulait seulement passer plus vite, imaginez les regards des autres, comment ils vous verraient...Malheureusement, je pense qu'on agit énormément par rapport à ce que les autres pourraient penser de nous...

En conclusion, pour moi il n'y a pas de bonne solution ou d'attitude à avoir face à cette situation!!!

Comme Joséphine je pense que le regard des autres influe beaucoup beaucoup sur nos réactions et que c'est à cause de ça que les personnes plus agées en profitent pour passer devant: elles savent qu'on ne dira rien ou pas grand chose de peur de se faire mal voir (surtout si c'est à la boulangerie du coin où tout le monde te connait).

Cependant je trouve ça injuste que des personnes agée essaie de passer devant avec pour seule raison leur age, car du coup tout le monde peut trouver une excuse pour essayer de passer plus vite et ça ne sert plus à rien d'y avoir de queues.

There is an interesting contrast between the reactions of Americans in the cinema (very few, if any, would reprehend the person talking), while in the scenario at hand almost everyone confront the person cutting in line.

Lina, pour répondre à ta question, beaucoup de gens je pense ne feraient pas attention à ma remarque si je leur disais d'aller prendre la queue comme tout le monde, et là, je pense que j'aurais peur d'aller plus loin!

Maryia, je ne pense pas que les français soient mieux éduqués que les américains, par contre, notre culture fait peut-être que nous essayons d'abord avec des mots avant de passer aux gestes, mais là encore, cela dépend beaucoup du lieu et de l'âge des personnes. Certains jeunes iront jusqu'à la confrontation, la provacation même s'ils sont en groupe, mais d'autres se tairont.

Ce qui me frappe, c'est qu'aucun d'entre vous semble penser que les français sont toujours en train de passer avant les autres; en Europe, c'est la ré^putation que nous avons, on appelle cela le système D, càd se débrouiller pour arriver à ses fins à tous prix! Je suis surprise de voir que vous vous concentrez plus sur le langage que sur le stéréotype; cela veut-il dire que ce stéréotype du français qui passe devant les autres partout n'a pas encore franchi l'Atlantique?

Joséphine, j'approuve! Dans ma supérette, il y a toujours les mêmes mémés qui veulent prendre ton tour alors qu'elles ont toute la journée pour faire leurs courses! Je veux bien laisser ma place si elles sont malades ou handicapées, mais pas si elles sortent à l'heure de pointe!

contente de voir qu'il y a des personnes d'accord avec moi! =)