A well-behaved child ...

Un enfant bien élevé ...

considerate, friendly, respectful

does not cause trouble, does not scream for no reason, and is nice.

is a child nonetheless. We should not ask a child to be so well behaved, but rather to treat it with respect, expecting the same in return.

is an attentive one that quietly pays attention to the world around them.

is an over-disciplined child.

is disciplined, respectful and patient

is obedient, considerate and caring

is one that obeys his parents and the law.

is polite and calm.

is polite and doesn't have tantrums. A well-behaved child listens to their parents and respects them.

is polite, is quiet when they need to be, is social when they need to be.

is probably a boring child.

is respectful above all, especially to his elders.

is respectful, kind, open to sharing

is respectful.

is someone who does not annoy his parents too much, and behaves according to social standards of his culture.

is thoughtful and unselfish

knows his or her limits, is astute, is rare

Listens to others' advice; does homework before playing; helps others

listens to others' advices,
knows what is right to do and does what he or she thinks is right.

obeys his/her parents and respects others.

One who listens most of the time.

respectful, listens to adults, doesn't run around the house

respects his or her mother and father, but is also able to act and think independently.

shares, is patient, does not scream

connaît les règles de la bienséance et sait les mettre en application, il sait s'adapter en fonction des gens en face.

connaît les règles de savoir vivre, ne fait pas de bêtises, écoute ses aînés

courtois, gentil, poli, civil

est heureux, entouré, appliqué

est poli et n'est pas chiant.

est poli, attentif aux autres.

est poli, respectueux, gentil.

est respectueux, possède des valeurs, et est poli.

est un enfant connaissant les limites de ses libertés, qui a reçu une bonne éducation, qui sait écouter.

finit son assiette à table, est poli, reste calme.

ne fait pas le difficile, comprend quand il va trop loin, dit bonjour et merci

parle correctement, écoute ses parents.

poli, aimable, sage,

poli, présent avec la famille, pas tout le temps sur le PC

poli, respectueux, qui aide

poli, sage

réussit ses études, est propre et attentionné

sait se tenir, reste poli et écoute ses parents.

un enfant bien élevé est un enfant poli, qui parle correctement, qui ne fait pas de caprice.

un enfant connaissant les bonnes manières et qui les pratique sans hypocrisie.


Globalement, les réponses restent assez proches entre votre vision d’un enfant bien élevé et la notre : poli, respectueux, attentif, à l’écoute, calme, aimable …

Cela laisse à penser qu’un enfant bien élevé l’est à l’égard des autres, surtout vis-à-vis des adultes (et pas des enfants), comme si un enfant avait intérêt à être poli POUR les autres.

Cependant, une des réponses ne va pas dans ce sens, l’un d’entre vous a répondu : « We should not ask a child to be so well-behaved, but rather to treat it with respect, expecting the same in return ».

A ce moment-là, est-ce qu’un enfant bien élevé n’évoque pas la même chose à tout le monde parce que cette expression dépend de ce qu’est une « bonne éducation » pour chacun d’entre nous?

Interesting question, Florence.

I believe that a well-behaved child is one that is mature enough to understand what is happening in the world around them.  One that is conscientious -- he/she does not necessarily have to 'listen' to the adults, but to be respectful.  Of course, that is very subjective, and certainly depends on one's upbringing and environment.

In the French way of raising children, is it common for more explicit directions be given to the child on how to behave, or is it implicit?  Do parents like to impose and set clear rules, or is there an inherent code of conduct that many French families have and expect the child to realize?

I think some of the American responses, such as "a boring child" or "we should not ask a child to be so well-behaved," is because in the US we are obsessed with expressing one's individualism. Thus, while we want a child to not be a nuisance or unbearable, we also do not want them to be too quiet and dependent on the parents. Sometimes, we associate "well-behaved" with a child whose vitality and independence is choked out of them by rules and strict parents. That's why many of our responses also included some way for the child to express himself or herself.

How important is it for the child to express free will in French culture? Is it secondary to obedience?

I think for kids at a young age, there are always cerntain rules that they have to follow at home. If they don't follow, they will be "grounded" with no TV, no snacks as punishment for several days.

Do French parents punish their kids for breaking the rules? How?

...comment dire : Bien sur que les parentsdoivent punir quelques fois, cela doit être partout pareil ! Par contre, cela dépend de chaque parents et oui, la je rejoint yotam : les parents n'ont pas toujours envie d'en faire un(e) saint(e) dans le sens d'un enfant parfait mais sans vie ! Un enfant bien éduqué est un enfant sage (rapport aux autres) mais un enfant bien dans sa peau, vivant, à qui ont a donné accès a plein de moyens pour grandir (rapport à soir).

Je pense que cela ne dépend pas principalement du pays mais des parents, de la famille ( 6 enfants et enfant unique par exemple)...



There may be a great deal of variation from parents to parents, but I do believe there are some things that are more acceptable in certain cultures and regions that are not in others, which effect child-parent relationships.  For example, my entire family outside of my parents and sister live in Turkey.  It was very common for kids that were 12 years old to go down to the cornerstore and buy groceries, including beer and other alcoholic beverages, for their parents, uncles, grandparents etc.  It was also common that if you disobeyed or did something bad, you would get smacked.  Obviously, no 12 year old in the states could go buy beer for his uncle no matter what the situation, so, although a well behaved child in Turkey is one who goes and buys the things his elders tell him to do, it is not necessarily possible in the US.  Also, because I grew in the states, my parents treated me very differently than my uncle raised my cousin, even though my mother and uncle, who only have a year difference in age, were raised the exact same way (for example, I was never smacked or disciplined in the way kids are usually in Turkey). My cousin was not excessively smacked or anything, but because of the way he was raised in Turkey and the way I was raised in the US, my relationship with my parents is much different than that of my cousin and his parents.

I think cultural effects still play a large role in behavior and the expectations of kids.

Also, in the US parents get involved with everything their kids do, almost to excess.  For example, if a group of kids are having an argument, parents will always intervene and judge who is correct and who is wrong.  Therefore, kids are raised to look for authority figures to make decisions for them of what is right and wrong.  In other countries, this is definitely not the case as parents let kids figure things out on their own, and therefore kids learn to figure things out on their own.