Your parents criticize you in front of your friends.

Vos parents vous critiquent devant vos amis.

I would accept their criticism. I wouldn't feel embarrassed, since no one is perfect.

I would be silent,and confront them afterwards.

I would feel uncomfortable and try to change the subject.

I would get very angry and probably be rude to my parents in front of my friends and ask them not to criticize me

I would jokingly tell them to leave me alone.

I would mention to them later, in private, that I understood their criticism but I would prefer they not air their concerns publicly.

I would probably feel very small inside. I would probably later ask them why they did that.

I would talk to them about it afterwards.

I would tell them later on that I would appreciate it if they didn't do that in front of people any more

I would think they did not understand just how embarrassed this made me feel, but I probably would not say anything until after my friends have left,.

If I agree with them, I will acknowledge it. If not, I will raise my doubts about their criticism.

If it's "bad criticism" I just nod.. not say much, perhaps smile at my friends because I may be embarrassed. If it's "constructive criticism", I agree and say "okay."

make sure I clarify things with my parents

My friends love my parents, so I would apologize slightly goofy and brush it off

Really? Why are you doing that?

Say nothing in the moment, but complain to my friends later.

C'est la vie.

Ca ne me fait pas plaisir et je fais en sorte d'abréger la conversation ou de la tourner de façon humoristique.

Je change de sujet ou je coupe la conversation et trouve un subterfuge pour m'en aller avec mes amis.

je hausse les épaules puis j'ai une discussion avec mes parents par la suite

Je lance la guerre des potins.

Je le prends bien, c'est surement pour rigoler.

Je leur demande d'aller en parler en privé.

Je leur demande de me critiquer en privé plutôt.

Je m'énerve et leur dis d'arrêter immédiatement

Je me défends tant bien que mal et tente de me justifier si les critiques sont fondées.

Je me défends.

Je n'ai pas honte de quoi que ce soit que pourraient dire mes parents devant mes amis. Du coup je suppose que je rigole avec eux.

Je pense que c'est involontaire mais clairement mal venu. Je laisse passer l'orage (en me défendant quand même!) et je leur fais remarquer plus tard en aparté.

Je reconnais mes torts, je me remets en question pour corriger mes défauts

Mes parents ne voient pas mes amis. Le cas échéant, je les arrête tout de suite.

Si je le prends mal, je n'hésite pas à leur répliquer froidement.


Once again, MIT students are polarized from "feeling uncomfortable" and "small inside" to "ehh, my friends love my parents, no big deal", while the French students are "c'est la vie", "je change de sujet", etc. Given the amount of love and support expressed in other "family" sections of this Cultura project, I'm a bit surprised how upset both sets of students are at this. American students are more likely to be inwardly upset and maybe talk to their parents later; French students (when it bothers them) are more defensive in the moment.

Why is it so upsetting to get called out by your parents? Is it better or worse now than it was when you were 13 years old?

Je ne pense pas que le problème est la critique en soi, plutôt que c'est mal placé devant les amis. Je pense c'est bien pour un group de montrer un "front uni" dans ce cas, est laissé le critique a l'intérieur du groupe. Dans le cas de la critique ne soit pas abordé, ca devient plus problématique et ca peut être relevant de parler avec quelqu'un hors de groupe.

I think that the problem is probably more when or where the criticism is given than the actual criticism itself. It is much easier to be receptive to criticism when your parents call you out about something while your friends or other people are not around.


In Spanish there is a saying that goes "la ropa sucia se lava en casa", which literally translates to "dirty clothes are washed at home". What this means is that any personal issues or criticisms that arise within a group should be resolved within the group and not be divulged to "outsiders". As Arvid says, a family should display a "united front", and if criticism needs to be given, this should be done so privately. I completely agree with what Annaliese says, and I believe that this is also a view that French people share in the most part. However, the difference lies in how you react; I think that in France, being rude to your parents in front of your friends is seen as a very bad behavior, so even though you might feel equally as mad or disappointed by the situation as an American, the way you openly react to it is very different.

@Mariana On a le même ("on lave son linge sale en famille") !

Personnellement, le contexte m'importe peu. Si je pense avoir tort je m'excuse, sinon je me défends et c'est tout. Peu importe pour moi qui est là ou non. C'est la vie, en effet c'est comme ça, ça arrive qu'on soit critiqué. C'est pas la première ni la dernière fois que ça arrivera.

I think it is very important for the family to be cohesive unit; a family functions like a team but more than being united by a particular cause or objective, they are held together by love, respect, and general reliance. I think that if my parents criticized me in front of my friends/colleagues, I would definitely feel hurt and ashamed, but I would not want to make the resolution of this matter any of their business and would try my best to shrug the incident. Whether advertently or not, I feel that I have been on both sides of this situation, and either way it manifests itself as rooted in the lack of consideration and disrespect. The point of divergence is really whether the son/daughter is willing to exert righteousness/indignance above his/her parent, and this is where the matter becomes highly dependent upon the generation gap and filial piety of a particular culture. I feel that my parents provided a great upbringing, but I am infallibly influenced by an education that taught me to question authority, apply rationality, and to be an individual. While the words of your parents can guide you throughout your life, it sometimes becomes difficult to accept what they say for face-value and to efface yourself to their criticisms. However, the best solution is to keep toubles like these private, because it not worth dishonoring the image of your family.

@Alex, c'est intéressante que tu disais que votre éducation vous avez enseigné "to question authority, apply rationality, and to be an individual". Est-ce que vous pouvez élaborer un peu là-dessus? C'est plus ou moins l'inverse que l'opinion (controversée) de Chomsky, qui dit que le point de l'éducation publique est de former des individus que savent se conformer.

@Arvid: It's difficult to pinpoint an exact period where I was explicitly taught to question authority. I believe that a well-rounded education is inevitably going to produce a student that is largely skeptical and curious about the world around him, such that he would never uphold a doctrine for face-value alone. The forces of conformity prey upon the uneducated and the weak at heart. I find myself to be a staunch nonconformist, at least mentally. I was taught to cut against the grain and was encouraged (by both my parents and teachers) to continue being the person I was as long as I was headed towards a bright future. For the troublemakers, I presume enforcing conformity in regards to being productive members of society is an implicit goal of public education. Public schools want you to be able to find work and support yourself and possibly a family; here I imagine conformity "works." Ultimately, the path of any innovator is a trail blazed on his own.