I can't stand when people ...

Je ne supporte pas quand les gens ...

  • are arrogant, are racist
  • are condescending
  • are disrespectful, lie, are hypocrites.
  • are disrespectful and selfish
  • are rude, don't care
  • believe they are superior to others
  • can't appreciate what they have, buckle my legs and force me into a chair because then I'm sitting - not standing
  • chew with their mouths open, don't clean up after themselves.
  • complain about things that they have the power to change, play their music too loud, overstay their welcome
  • disrespect other people. , click their pen. , think they are better than other people.
  • disrespect their peers
  • don't ask me how I am doing and only talk of themselves
  • don't listen to others, put their own needs before the needs of others in a group, talk rudely to other people
  • do not respect each other, do not listen to each other, do not remain humble
  • eat with their mouths open, try to empathize with the black struggle
  • give me the silent treatment.
  • have a myopic view of the world and are close minded
  • lie, use their fists instead of their words.
  • smoke cigarettes.
  • talk about me behind my back.
  • talk too much.
    don't listen.
  • think only about themselves, put things like money or power above people
  • affirment quelque chose en se basant sur des faits qu'ils ont entendus autre part, sans aucun fondement.
  • jettent de la poubelle dans la rue, s'insultent les un des autres
  • ne disent pas bonjour
  • ne parlent que d'eux-mêmes
  • ne respectent pas les conventions d'usage.
  • ne travaillent pas dans un projet.
  • parle de leurs croyances comme des vérités immuables
  • parlent des autres
  • qui friment
  • qui prennent les autres de haut
  • refusent quand je leur paye un verre.
  • restent fermement accrochés à leurs idées, quelque soit la situation.
  • s'excusent.
  • se disputent
  • sont concentrés sur des choses superficielles.
  • sont hautains
  • sont hypocrites et ne jouent pas franc-jeu.
  • sont racistes, crachent par terre, parlent au téléphone à haute voix


The French and American responses were very similar here. Bad manners were a big part of both (although they differed on each side), such as not cleaning up, being too loud, chewing with your mouth open, or spitting on the ground. Something a lot of French people are annoyed by is when people are stubborn and refuse to change their views on something. This was not really expressed on the American side. Many Americans mentioned disrespect as something they couldn’t stand, which was not mentioned on the French side specifically, but a lot of words could fall into the general category of disrespect.

Although I’m sure Americans also hate when people are too stubborn or believe that their personal beliefs are the truth, the French mentioned it 3 times vs. 0 times. What aspect of the French culture do you think might account for this difference?

Like @laika said, many of the French and American responses were very similar, although many Americans focused on pet peeves (chewing with their mouths open, not cleaning up, playing music too loud) while the French side focused on bigger human faults such as close-mindedness.

I thought it was interesting that a few of the French responses mentioned things about the environment (“crachent par terre”, “jettent de la poubelle dans la rue”) while it wasn’t mentioned at all on the American side. Is there a bigger emphasis on the environment (and caring for it) in France? I know in the US there are still people who deny the existence of major environmental issues such as global warming.

A lot of the views on the left side reflect the sentiments of MIT students. The MIT atmosphere is generally not conducive to arrogance, disrespect, and delusions of superiority.
On the other hand, the views on the right side reflect an attitude that is not appreciative of closed-mindedness, and it seems to matter to the French whether one is speaking from experience or whether one is just reciting what was said elsewhere. I wonder if these views reflect the sentiments of the students at L’enseirb in particular.

@herao13 I wonder if the differences in response themes (pet peeves vs bigger human faults) is a result of actual preferences or is a result of different contextual interpretations of the question. I feel like I can definitely relate to the responses on both sides as things that I don’t like, but the phrasing “can’t stand” steered me more to thinking about annoying pet peeves than larger scale problems with human behavior.

It’s interesting that someone on the French side said they can’t stand when someone doesn’t say hello; is it considered impolite in general when people don’t say hello in France? Or was that just a personal pet peeve?

@math.ceil I think the responses also reflect the largest ideas that are valued in American versus French society. In America, there is an emphasis on social mobility and opportunity: anyone could someday surpass you in terms of wealth, success, etc. and so you shouldn’t put them down now. “What goes around comes around”. In France, they greatly value equality and acceptance so they are not in support of being closed-minded.

@ijm: je pense que cela dépend de la situation, mais en général, dire “Bonjour” est une forme de politesse, ne pas le dire serait donc impoli.
Ce que vous appelé “pet peeves” sont aussi une forme d’impolitesse, même si on ne leur accorde pas autant d’importance ? Ils sont acceptables selon vous?

I think the difference is that pet peeves are usually specific to an individual. They are not generally viewed by the general community as rude or annoying, for example, I dislike when someone drags one’s fork against a plate. This is a pet peeve of mine, but it is not generally viewed as bad manners. It can be accepted by others but not by me specifically.

@acheknoun, I believe that a pet peeve can be impolite if the person knows that that action is a pet peeve of yours. Because pet peeves are usually very unique to people, for example, one of my pet peeves is when people touch me with their feet, there is no way for someone who doesn’t know me well to know that about me, and therefore it isn’t impolite for them to do that. However, if one of my friends, who knows I hate that, does it, they could be considered impolite to a certain extent. Therefore I think that if, as a society, saying not saying hello is rude, I don’t think it can be considered a pet peeve. Now, if only some people believe that to be rude, then it may be. What are the ‘conventions d’usage’ that were mentioned on the French side?

@acheknoun, as Fejiro and redchip123 said, I think the way most people see the difference between a pet peeve and an impolite action is that a pet peeve is something that is seen as impolite by an individual, while an impolite action is seen as impolite by society. So I think if you know someone has a pet peeve, and you do that thing anyways, that is rude; while if you don’t know about it, it’s not rude. However if you do something that is considered rude by society, you’re just rude. So I’m curious to what extent, and in what situations, is not saying hello considered rude by society in general in France? That is to say, when would someone in general be annoyed that I don’t say hello, not just a specific individual?

@ acheknoun: You say that not saying “Bonjour” would be considered impolite; however, would you ever greet a stranger? In the US, people often say “Hello” and smile or nod when they encounter a stranger (for example, when they are jogging or running on a trail and they see another runner). A French student once told me that in France, greeting a stranger on the street is very rare and could be considered odd. Is this true?

mhk, I think that saying “hello” to strangers is a regional thing within the US. I’m from New York City and I would not say “hello” or smile at strangers. I feel like unsolicited small talk is kind of a suburban thing.

@mhk En France il est rare de dire bonjour à un inconnu dans la rue car il y a beaucoup de monde et aucune raison de le faire. Cependant il arrive très souvent de dire bonjour à certains inconnu par exemple les vendeurs dans les magasins, les gens dans les salles d’attentes ou les personnes qu’on croise dans notre immeuble

Personnellement je viens d’une petite ville et j’ai donc l’habitude de dire bonjour aux inconnus dans la rue. Par contre je pense que c’est effectivement quelque chose qui se perd dans les plus grandes villes. Je trouve ça dommage c’est toujours agréable de voir des gens qui nous sourient.

@ijm, @redchip123: Merci, je comprends mieux ce que vous sous-entendez par “pet peeve” et je suis d’accord avec vous.
En France, lorsque qu’un élève rentre dans la salle de cours, il dit bonjour au professeur ou bien encore, lorsque que l’on rentre dans une salle d’attente… Je suis d’accord que cela peut semblait étrange de dire bonjour des étrangers, mais ne peut le faire peut vraiment être considéré comme impolie par certaines personnes…Qu’en a la raison exacte de ce comportement, je ne saurais pas trop te répondre, je dirais juste nous avons étais éduqué de cette façon.
Notre prof nous a justement dit qu’elle trouvait ça très bizarre qu’on lui dise bonjour et au revoir a chaque fois…
Juste pour information, en France, ceux qui travaille en contacte avec le public comme les caissiers, les vendeurs, les conducteurs de bus… Ont normalement pour consigne de dire bonjour et au revoir a tous les clients.
@mhk: Comme l’on expliquer jchambre et Mathieu, dire bonjour à des inconnues dépend vraiment d’où est que l’on habitent. Dans une grande ville, il n’est pas possible de dire bonjour a tout le monde, mais dans une plus petite ville, les habitants ont l’habitude de se dire bonjour même s’ils ne se connaissent pas, de la même façon, on dit bonjour à ses voisins.

Au fait, je pense qu’on doit plus réagir par rapport à nous, si quelque chose nous dérange, on doit, soit l’éviter, soit essayer que ça nous dérange plus.
y a-t-il, alors, un model parfait de vivre ? genre, éviter ce qui nous dérange ou réagir pour que ça ne nous dérange plus ?

A propos du fait de dire bonjour et au revoir .. ici à Bordeaux, les Bordelais et en général les français sont très chaleureux, dès que tu entres dans une boutique ou un restaurant ou à l’école ou n’importe où .. ils commencent toujours par dire “Bonjour”. Pareil en sortant. Par contre notre professeur en classe nous a dernièrement dit qu’elle trouve cela bizarre et qu’en Amérique, il n’existe pas ce genre de protocole et cela me semble vraiment étrange !!