You are at a party on campus and you are the only one not drinking; the others make fun of you.

Vous êtes à une fête entre étudiants et vous êtes la seule personne à ne pas boire; les autres se moquent de vous.

Feel embarrassed and possibly leave the party.

I explain that I am the designated drive. They are too drunk to realize driving is not an issue.

I guess I'll feel bad at first, but the feeling won't last long

I laugh along.

I laugh with them. (This actually happens to me all the time because I actually don't drink alcohol in real life)

I laugh.

I leave--that's definitely not cool!

I make fun of them for being drunk.

I make fun of them in the morning.

I play along with their jokes and gently but firmly let them know that I do not give in to peer pressure.

I tell them I don't really feel like drinking. This will probably not happen though. I will usually just be at parties with nice friends.

I would be frustrated with them, but I wouldn't hold anything against them. After all, if I'm at a party with them, they are probably friends, and if I'm the only one not drinking, they're probably all drunk.

I would enjoy watching them slowly getting drunker and acting like idiots!

I would just explain that I didn't want to drink; if they continued, I'd leave.

I would know that I am right, and secretly, they respect me more.

I would laugh it off. It's my decision whether I drink or not.

I would leave the party.

I would make fun of them. I have no problem being the only person not hung over the next day.

I would not be bothered, and I would continue to refrain from drinking.

I would think: "I will make fun of them when they are drunk."

It happens all the time. I don't care!

Joke about their hangovers.

Laugh about it. They're getting drunk and it's hilarious.

laugh it off. they're probably drunk anyway. you can joke about how you will continue to look absolutely fabulous while they will be trashed in about an hr.

leave

Leave or tell them peer pressure is a poor excuse for covering insecurities.

more likely than not, I would probably call them out for being so rude, and then remind them the next day of the dumb things they did while they were drunk.

Say I don't feel like drinking at the moment (I probably have a good reason not to be).

Tell them I'll throw up if I begin drinking.

That wouldn't happen ;).

"sans alcool, la fête est plus folle"

ça ne me fera rien du tout

Boire ou conduire, il faut choisir. Il faut bien que quelqu'un fasse en sorte de ramener tout le monde en vie à son domicile ! Je suis SAM !

ce n'est pas grave, c'est mon choix. Je ne vais pas boire parce que tout le monde boit!

Ceci est impossible !

il faut bien un SAM (d'après la pub "celui qui conduit c'est celui qui ne boit pas") pour ramener tout le monde en vie mais la prochaine fois ce sera quelqu'un d'autre

il faut de tout pour faire un monde.

J'assume pleinement mon choix de ne pas boire et je me défends.

je dis que je conduis et que du coup je ne préfère pas boire pour pouvoir conduire sans prendre de risques

je leur dis que j'avais pas envie de boire et que ça sert à rien de se moquer de moi ou que je n'ai rien amené pour boire .

je leur dis que moi, comme je ne bois pas, je pourrais conduire pour rentrer chez moi plus vite et que même si je ne bois pas, cela ne m'empêche pas de m'amuser quand même.

je leur dis que peut-être que ce soir je ne bois pas mais je conduis. Ce sera leur tour la prochaine fois.

Je leur fais une réflexion puis si ils continuent je pars de la soirée.

Je leur réponds que je suis responsable.

je lui dis que je peux m'amuser sans boire et que je rentre par la suite, donc pour prendre le volant je ne dois pas boire.

Je m'en fous, si ce soir là je ne bois pas c'est que j'ai certainement une raison

Je n'en fais pas cas, l'alcool n'est pas pour moi l'unique moyen de s'amuser en soirée.

je ne boirai pas et je pourrais rentrer pour ne plus accepter des invitations

je ne bois pas??!! Je dois avoir une bonne raison.

je ne m'occupe pas d'eux et je profite quand même de la soirée

Je sais, je sais, mais je suis le seul à conduire, donc si vous voulez revenir en vie, ne me poussez pas à boire, car celui qui conduit c'est celui qui ne boit pas .

je suis fière de ce que je suis. Ce n'est pas pour autant que je me mettrais à boire! je peux m'amuser sans!

je trouve ça ridicule et leur explique mon point de vue.

Discussion

Les réponses entre francais et américains sont plutot similaire. Je me demandais cependant si les soirée aux USA était beaucoup alcoolisé étant donné que normalement vous ne pouvez consommer de l'alcool avant 21ans. Sortez vous tout de meme dans les bars ou les boites de nuit régulièrement ?

les réponses sont presque les memes et ça montrent que les jeunes ne se laissent pas facilement influencer et qu'ils ont bocoup plus conscience du danger de la route. Se serait trop bète de faire des choses sur la contrainte par peur d'etre ridicule au contraire quand on le fait on devient vraiment idiot. toutefois la soirée des étudiants(jeudi) me rend toujours dingue,j'y comprends rien....ah et pourquoi les jeunes français fument autant?

En effet on retrouve des réponses tout à fait similaires des deux côtés. La responsabilité de celui qui conduit est très importante, et c'est un système de roulement. Il est vrai que la Bretagne en France est "réputée" pour consommer beaucoup d'alcool en soirée, mais ce n'est aps pour autant que nous sommes inconscients, il est important de faire la part des choses entre celui qui boit et cleui qui conduit.

Cette situation en tout cas, ne me paraît pas probable en tout cas dans mon entourage, il n'est pas question de se moquer des amis qui ne boivent pas en soirée. C'est un choix, c'est tout.

I realized that both groups have similar reactions to some extent -almost the same number of responses involved explaining why the odd one out (the person not drinking, let's call him Joe for purposes of this discussion) was not drinking.

However, the Americans mentioned laughing it off as a means of dealing with the situation. This also highlights the fact that the Americans mentioned some emotions that are typically associated with such awkward situations such as frustration and embarassement.In this sense then, the Americans are not drinking because they simply don't drink as a personal choice as opposed to wanting not drinking on certain occasions.

On the other hand, the French seemed to mostly use the excuse of having to drive at a reason to not drink. Obviously, not drinking because you have to drive is a good reason but it's different from not drinking for personal or religious reasons. It seems then that Joe is simply not drinking this one time but he will next time (I mean how often can one use the "SAM" excuse?). I also find the fact the the word "SAM" even exists to be pretty interesting. I don't think it is tradition in the USA for a person to give up drinking at a party so his friends can drink.

To answer your question Anne, the legal drinking age in the USA is also 21 years but that's hardly a deterrent. I cannot speak to how often Americans go to clubs or pubs but there are usually lots of parties on campus that students go to to have fun.

Question: do you think people use the "SAM" idea to cover up the real reasons they don't drink and avoid being mocked by their friends? I mean if it's a cover up, what happens if there is more than one  Joe in the group? There has to be a limit to the number of SAMs in the group!

SAm est le nom que les français donnent à la personne qui ne boit pour pour ramener ses amis le soir chez eux; si j'ai bien compris chez vous vous avez le même principe ac JOE. Alors, le nombre de SAM est normalement limité aux nombre de conducteurs, mais certaine personne ne font pas SAM et ne boivent quand même pas, c'est juste qu'ils n'en ont pas envis ensuite peut étre qu'ils se feront moqué par les autres qui pencent que les soirée sont des "compétitions", mais tout cela dépend ensuite des mentalités des personnes mais il est vrai que dans mon entourage je ne connais qu'une seule personne qui n'aime pas boire en soirée qu'elle soit SAM ou pas, généralement tout le monde boit plus ou moins en soirée. En france l'age limite pour acheté de l'alcool (pour tout type d'alcool) est passé a 18ans l'année dernière alors que avant nous pouvions acheter de l'alcool doux (bierres) a l'age de 16ans; aux USA cela est a 21ans?

Peut étre que la france est en train de passer petit à petit au systéme américain qui est très strict, alors que d'autre légalise casiment tout comme la hollande ac le cannabis et la prostitution controlée.

J'aimerai savoir si aux USA la boisson alcoolisé est tabou ou un sujet de conversation que vous pouvez avoir avec n'importe qui de votre entourage?

En france qui veut etre sam est sam... Bien evidemment il faut conduire ! le nombre de sam n'est pas limité. Qui est JOE ?

Mais beaucoup de jeune en France prenne la décision de ne pas boire en soirée et personne ne leur dit rien. L'alcool n'est pas du tout considérer comme une obligation pour faire la fete, biensur bien des jeunes pensent cela nécéssaire pour s'amuser, ce qui n'est pas completement faux pour certaine personne mais bien des jeunes peuvent s'éclater et rigoler avec des gens alcoolisé sans pour autant boire une goutte d'alcool.

Lorsque vous sortez aux états-unis comment l'alcool est vu par les autres ? Consommez vous beaucup d'alcool en général ou vos soirées se font plutot sans alcool?

Comparing the French and American responses has provided me with an interesting contrast on the way each culture views the consumption of alcoholic beverages, and underage drinking.  In the United States, the 21 drinking age and the stigma that adults (and the government) place on underage drinkiing has caused many young Americans to view alcohol as some tempting forbidden fruit synonymous with good times, wildness, parties, sex, and irreverence.  This view of alcohol becomes highlighted when they go to college, and all of the sudden find themselves free from all parental supervision and with copious amounts of alcohol accessible.

Interestingly, many Americans said that when placed in the above situation, they would resort to jokes and humor to fend of their friends' mocking comments.  However, this may be a coping mechanism designed to combat peer pressure in a society that sometimes labels nondrinkers as "uncool."  Not one of the American responses, however, mentioned that alcohol wasn't necessary to have a good time (a point that at least two French students made).  From this, I have the impression that in France (and maybe even in most of Europe?) alcohol is seen in a more quotidian light, and the opennness and greater exposure that French youths grow up in caters less to the idolization of alcohol that so many Americans have fallen into.  Is this the reality in France?  Also, so many college-aged Americans seem to be more focused on achieving an inebriated state, than on enjoying the drink(s) itself and the company that goes with it.  Again, I wonder what your opinion is of the situation in France?

Aside comment: There was a marked difference between the number of Americans who mentioned being dessignated drivers, and the number of French students who said they would use being SAM as an explanation for not drinking.  However, I think this is due to the fact that the American responses were from MIT students, and there is very little need to drive in Boston. 

Xavier: 

Not at all! Drinking is a completely normal subject of conversation in the US.  (I should add that I grew up in Puerto Rico, where the drinking age is 18 and the rules are very relaxed.  However, from my experience in the states there seems to be no taboo surrounding alcoholic consumption; on the contrary, it is a very hotly debated topic!)

Anne:

Pretty much any +21 party/gathering includes alcohol, unless its presence thereof would be inappropriate for religious/professional reasons.  As to underage parties, more often than not they also include alcohol.  It is a law that is pretty strictly enforced (although the strictness varies from state to state), and even more widely broken!

 

As everyone else has said before, the responses on both sides share an incredible amount of similarities. What I think is interesting is although both Americans and the French defended their stance of not drinking at this hypothetical party, the French responsed more about how drinking is not necessary for having a good time. The majority of the reactions on the US side involves laughing right back at the friends, and not taking them seriously.

It's good to know that at least everyone seems to be mature enough to make his or her own decisions and be consistent with those choices. The concept of peer pressure doesn't seem to be an issue at all.

And in agreement with what Jacqui said, the culture of college life in the US does seem to focus on drinking and partying, or at least such is the stereotype. Because of the restrictions on alcohol in the US, there is definitely a greater pressure to drink, because it is not as open and natural and ordinary as it would be in France.

 

C'est vrai que comme le souligne Kathy on ressent de la maturité dans la réaction des étudiants des deux pays.En effet soit l'étudiant tente d'expliquer, soit il passe outre les commentaires soit il prend cela à la dérision.Je pensais comme Xavier que peut-être du fait de la legislation l'alcool pouvait être un taboo mais non.Ce que je souligne quand même dans les réponses c'est que 5 américains seraient prêt à quitter la fête contre 1 seul du côté français. Es-ce que le regard des autres est plus important aux Etats-Unis qu'en France?Ou est-ce juste sur ce sujet là?

Hmmm, I think something was lost in translation...

To Anne and Xavier,  Joe is a hypothetical person that is not drinking in Naa's response.  It is not a universal term like Sam is and it doesn't refer to anyone that Naa knows personally.  The term for a person who drives people home after a party (and doesn't drink because he has to drive people home) is "designated driver".  So for example I might say, "I'm the designated driver tonight, you guys have fun."

On a side note I think that Jacqueline made an excellent point that driving is not as important in Boston.  For example I don't even have my driver's license yet.  I have to admit though that when I was reading the different responses I felt like maybe a lot of people mentioned having to drive some one home because otherwise they would be drinking.

On average does everyone drink at parties?  Are there problems with underage drinking in France?

For Anne, there are "bar" types of people who only go out to bar and usually have a favorite, know the bartender, etc. And there are "club" types of people who only go out to clubs, know the bouncers, etc. Because the two atmospheres are very different (at a bar, people usually enjoying standing around drinking talking and getting rowdy where as at a club people usually enjoying deafening musics and dancing), I would say people usually lean towards one or the other. And there are "lounges" which is a happy medium between both (it's got a bar, bottle service, lots of seating space, and good music)

Americans usually start drinking in high school. The whole underage thing usually isn't a problem when it comes to having access to alcohol (there are lots of college parties and house parties for the young ones) but it is a problem when going out to bars and such. So the bar/club culture is definitely over 21 unless you participate in an illegal transaction and get a fake ID, which is not too uncommon.

When americans drink, most do so with an intent of "getting tipsy and having a good time" or getting really really drunk to the point of oblivion. My french friends look down upon the latter part whereas my british, german, scandinavian friends seem to love the whole let's drink till we die culture. The french drink all the time.. is it a moderation issue? is it not common for a french university student to go to a party, drink excessively, puke, and than pass out?

I thought it was really interesting that only Americans mentioned leaving.  This is especially interesting since in a lot of the other American responses, we mention how important thinking for yourself is and how individualism is one of our main values.  It's pretty ironic that so many of us would be embarassed in any way for making our own indvidual choice.  That said, I think that many people may have mentioned leaving because they didn't want to be in an environment in which people were willing to peer pressure their friends that much about a very personal decision, rather than leaving out of pure embarassment. 

 

To respond to Anne, alcohol is definitely a large part of the American culture for youth, especially once people get to college.  Once people are away from home and living on their own in college, it's pretty typical for freshmen to "go crazy" at first and go out and drink  a lot, often making a few dumb mistakes or drinking way too much.  This is partly because a lot of people aren't used to alcohol when they start college, so they don't know how to handle it responsibly.  That said, it is also possible in the US (as you've all mentioned it is in France) to have fun without drinking--this happens most often when people have something the next day (sports event, etc.) or when we need a designated driver.  In a college with an urban campus or proximity to an urban area, though, designated drivers usually aren't necessary because we'll just walk everywhere, so most often, everyone in the group will be drinking.  Different schools have different drinking levels, though.  Although it's definitley possible at MIT to find somewhere to go pretty much every night, or at least Wednesday - Saturday, we usually don't have time.  My friends at other schools, however, drink far more frequently, often on weeknights, whereas most of my friends here restrict their drinking to the weekends, if they drink at all.

Since drinking is legal earlier in France, is it a significant part of the high school culture?  When people are finally away from home for college, their first job, etc., do people not have that adjustment phase as we do here because alcohol is not as restricted?  Is it common for college students to go out and get really drunk on weekends?

 

Erika

En France et particulièrement à brest le permis est quelque chose de tres attendu chez les jeunes, (On trouve dailleurs tres chancuex les américains de pouvoir passer le leur à 16ans!) car sinon il est très difficil de se déplacer.

Bien souvent les soirées francaises se déroulent avec de l'alcool, ce qui ne veut pas dire que à toutes les soirées étudiantes les jeunes boient jusqu'à ne plus pouvoir tenir debout. Mais il est vrai que boire en France est devenu plutot commun pour tout le monde. De ce fait les francais n'ont pas vraiment du mal à se procurer de l'alcool même si il n'ont pas l'age légale. En france nous pouvons boire dans un bar de la bière à 16 ans, pour ce qui est de l'alcool fort comme la vodka ou le wiski on ne peut la consommer ou l'acheter seulement à partir de 18 ans, ce qui est différent de chez vous

 

Hallie

Je pense qu'en France nous avons la même facon que vous américains de voir la différence entre les bars et les clubs. Nous appelons en France vos "lounges" des bars de nuit. Je ne suis pas sur d'avoir très bien compris ta question, veux tu savoir pourquoi nous buvons en France?

 

Hillary

En Bretagne nous avons un jour par semaine ou les étudiants font la fete dans la rue etle plus souvent il boivent ensemble, cela se passe dans la semaine, le jeudi. avez vous aussi un jour réservé a la fete pour les étudiants aux USA ?

Je pense que l'alcool peut en effet etre considéré comme faisant partie des nombreux souvenirs du college. Les collégiens veulent tester leur limite et l'interdit en essayant de boire ou fumer... En revanche l'alcool en France est souvent lié au fetes ou au moment passé entre amis. les Jeunes ne vont pas se mettre à boire seul ! Il faut souligner que en france oui nous consommons beaucoup d'alcool mais cela ne veut pas dire que nous buvons jusqu'à l'oublie... Il suffit à beaucoup dejeunes seulement quelques verres pour pouvoir s'amuser toute la nuit, ne pas etre fatiguée etc ...

Il est commun en effet pour les étudiants de sortir le week end et de boire mais encore une fois boire ne veut pas dire etre saoul

Jimmy,

I think there were so many Americans willing to leave the party (5 vs. 1) because close friends would not mock someone for deciding not to drink, so for someone to be laughed at, they would have to be surrounded by people who weren't very friendly. At a party with people like that, you're probably not going to have much fun anyway, so you might as well leave. I would imagine that the same holds true in France.

To add on to Hallie's comment, besides bars and clubs, many college students drink at house parties or fraternity parties because going out to bars can be very expensive.

I agree with Jacqueline's comment that many college students drink solely to get drunk; however, I think this changes a lot when you turn 21. Once you can purchase alcohol, it's much easier to experiment with new drinks and enjoy drinking for the taste and experience, not to get drunk.

What are some of the more popular drinks in France? I think there's a stereotype in the United States that the French usually only drink wine and very little of anything else. The sentence completion responses to "Les Français semblent être obsédés par ..." seem to support this.

 

Another observation that I don't think was mentioned before are the French responses that basically stated that they wouldn't ever go to a party and NOT drink (for example: "Ceci est impossible!" ou "Je ne bois pas??!!"). None of the American responses indicated that not drinking at a party would be outrageous or unheard of, but that is the sentiment I picked up from a few of the French responses.

In general, do you think people are weird or unusual if they do not drink alcohol at social gatherings? There were a few responses that said they didn't need alcohol to have fun ("Je n'en fais pas cas, l'alcool n'est pas pour moi l'unique moyen de s'amuser en soiree). Is it common for people to refrain from drinking because they don't like it?

Anne, 

to clarify my question, it's very common here to see people at 2am in clubs, bars, college parties stumbling around drunk, puking, or passing out (just falling asleep in random places). And many american teens and college students drink and party with this goal in mind. So drinking is almost always associated with these things. So I was wondering if the same applied to the french youth. do the french drink to "have a good time?" if so, what is the definition of this "good time?"

I agree with what Jacqueline and Hallie have said. I think that, in general, one does feel more pressure to drink in social gatherings here. I mean, people basically won't go to a party if there's no alcohol, or they leave if they're all out of alcohol. Seeing that the point of partying is drinking, if you don't drink people label you as some sort of "party pooper", someone who isn't really in the mood to loosen up and have fun. So then it makes sense that the Americans responded saying that they'd feel embarrassed, or leave the party, or something like that. 

I grew up in Puerto Rico, where the drinking culture is far different. It is perfectly acceptable to refrain from or cut back on drinking because you're the designated driver for the night, whereas it seems that here you'd still get made fun of for that. In the States, the designated driver is the lame person at the party because they can't really have fun. In Puerto Rico, friends took turns being the designated driver, so nobody made fun of anyone for it because everybody got to do it at some point. 

But something that I did ask myself after reading the responses from the French students: Is the SAM thing just the reason you give people when you don't want to drink? Or is it that the only reason why you wouldn't drink at a party is because you're driving, and if you weren't driving you would most certainly be drinking? 

Milena, pour répondre à ta question, en france l'excuse de SAM est utilisée non pas parce que nous ne voulons pas que l'on se moque de nous, mais parce que c'est la seule raison pour laquelle nous ne buvons pas !

Comme l'a dit Anne-Sophie, nous ne buvons pas jusqu'à n plus tenir debout à chaque soirée, mais en france si l'on se fait arreter par la police parce que l'on conduit une voiture et que l'on a bu plus de deux verres d'alcool (doses de bar, pas doses maison !) on a une amende et on perd des points sur notre permis de conduire.

De ce fait, nous faisons SAM à tour de rôle, histoire que tout le monde puisse quand même s'amuser, que tout le monde rentre en vie et que personne n'ai d'amende.

Malheureusement, il existe encore beaucoup de jeunes qui n'ont pas intégré cela, qui conduisent en ayant trop bu et les accidents, surtout le we, sont nombreux..

Aux Etats-Unis quelle est la limite d'alcool que vous avez le droit de consommer avant de prendre le volant ?

Hallie,

Pour répondre à ta question je pense que le but de la plus part des jeunes lorsqu'il boit de l'alcool est de faire la fete, de se lacher un peu plus que si ils n'avaient pas bu et puis l'alcool nous permet de dormir moins vite

Certaine personne vont choisir de boire de l'alcool vraiment pour se mettre dans des états minable, d'autres encore pour faire comme tout le monde

Passer du bon temps correspondrait alors bien plus à ma première idée sur le but de l'alcool en soirée

J'espère avoir répondu correctement à ta question Hallie

moi de ma patr ça ne me choquerais pas car je ne risque rien

Alice,

For someone 21 or older, the legal limit to drive is a blood alcohol concentration of 0.08% (about 3 or 4 drinks depending on lots of factors like gender and weight), but the police will likely give you a ticket or at least give you a hard time if you are anywhere near that level.

If you are under 21, the law varies from state to state, but it is always much more strict than the over 21 limit. It varies from 0.01% to 0.05% (one, maybe two drinks). It's technically legal for underage people to drink under certain circumstances. Anyone can take communion with wine at church, for instance, and many states allow teenagers to drink alcohol under the immediate supervision of their parents as long as they don't get intoxicated (a glass of wine with dinner, a beer at a barbeque, etc.). These few exceptions are the only reason that the underage limit isn't 0% BAC for driving.

Bonjour a tous,

Je voulais savoir, lors des soirées entre étudiants américains, quels sont globalement les façons de boire ? Les étudiants boivent t'ils pour arriver a une ivresse total, ou au contraire, les étudiants ont t'il plutôt tendance a connaitre leurs limites et savoir s'arréter ?

engage