You are at a party and you see one of your friends getting very drunk.

Vous êtes à une soirée et vous voyez un/e de vos ami/e/s en train de boire beaucoup trop.

Advise him/her

i feel badly for them but am grateful it isn't me

I go and take the bottle away from her.

I stop them from drinking and warn them that they will look like a complete idiot if they get any more drunk.

I would drive them home and take their alcohol from them.

I would go over and try to get them to stop drinking so much. Most of my friends do not drink much or at all, and I would be worried about them if they suddenly changed their behavior.

I would make her stop drinking, give her water, and probably take her away from the party.

I would make sure they are not in danger.

I would pull her aside and do everything in my power to get her to safety.

I would take care of them and make sure they don't do anything they would regret in the morning.

I would take her home and put her to bed.

I would try to get them to stop.

Stay to make sure he/she gets home safely.

Stop them from drinking any more and make them drink water and coffee

take away their drink

Take care of said friend, especially if this friend is a girl, and is approached by a man who wishes to take advantage of the situation. Walk her all the way back to her room.

Try to get him/her to stop drinking alcohol and start drinking water and try to take the person home.

J'appelle d'autres amis pour le regarder mourir (au sens figuré). Il est adulte. Il aura honte demain

Je bois avec lui.

je bois avec lui/elle

Je l'avertirai de faire attention, tout en veillant sur lui/elle de loin afin qu'il ne lui arrive rien.

Je lui conseille de réduire sa consommation et si cela ne suffit pas je veillerai à ce qu'il/elle ne boive plus

Je lui demande de partager

Je lui dis gentiment de réduire sa consommation

je lui prends son verre pour le boire à sa place.

Je lui somme d'arrêter et reste à proximité pour veiller dessus.

Je m'assure qu'il ne conduit pas et sinon je sors mon téléphone portable pour faire des photos...

je m'en fiche sauf si cela peut mettre sa santé en danger

Je me joins à lui, et lui propose un jeu.

je ne réagis pas

Je ne sais pas.

Si j'ai également trop bu, je continue de boire avec elle, sinon, j'essaye de lui faire comprendre qu'il faudrait arrêter la boisson pour ce soir si elle ne veut pas rentrer dans un sale état.

Tant qu'il/elle ne conduit pas, il/elle fait ce qu'il/elle veut.

Tant que sa santé n'est pas en jeu, je ne l'empêche pas de le faire, mais tout en restant attentif à ce qu'il fait. Je m'assurerai ensuite que quelqu'un, potentiellement moi, puisse le ramener chez lui.

Discussion

Je trouve étonnant de ne voir des réponse du type 'je bois avec il/elle' que pour les réponses des français. En France le comportement en soirée est souvent de laisser boire les personnes, elles le regretteront peut-être le lendemain, mais c'est leur choix.

Aux États-Unis, on empêche souvent quelqu'un de boire en soirée parce qu'il/elle a "trop bu" même si il/elle ne "risque rien" (pas de voiture, etc.) ?

C'est en effet intéressant de voir ces réactions comme l'a souligné Emilien.

Cela dépend du caractère de chacun, mais l'alcool rend souvent les personnes plus "joyeuses" et plus à même de s'amuser lors d'une soirée. Si vous voyez un de vos amis enchaîner les verres, sans que sa santé soit imminamment en danger, l'arrêteriez-vous ?

Ne pensez-vous pas qu'il est responsable de ce qu'il fait, et qu'une simple mise en garde suffirait peut-être ? S'il se sent mal le lendemain, peut-être que cette soirée lui aura servi de leçon pour les prochaines, et ne boira plus autant...

C'est à chacun de gérer la quantité d'alcool qu'il absorbe en fonction de ce qu'il supporte. Chacun devrait trouver son propre équilibre en soirée sans se reposer sur les autres. (J'admets que l'apprentissage est parfois rude ^^, mais tant que notre santé n'est pas en danger, une bonne cuite est souvent le meilleur moyen de voir qu'on a clairement dépassé ses limites et qu'il faudra avoir la main moins lourde la prochaine fois). 

I think the reason behind this is the age limit imposed by law in the US. Th age limit for drinking is 21. As a result, a lot of college students and high school students drink illegally and in secret and never learn how to drink properly or cautiously. As a result, they end up mixing drinks or drinking too much and risk being caught drunk or harming themselves.

Emilien, 

one reason that cars were probably not mentioned much is because many college students here in Boston do not have cars. When we want to get around we take public transportation and college shuttles. So cars are not a big concern for many students here.

I think in America there has been a lot of news coverage of girls, alcohol, and situations arising from that - and that this is part of what is behind some of the American responses about taking care of their friends and making sure they get home safely. So the dangers of over-drinking is not just about cars.

 

I also think that the negative responses on our side are due to our health education classes in middle and high schools, in which we were educated on what to do when such situation occurs. Do you have any classes where you discuss alcohol, parties, etc.?

It is important to note that at MIT, most of the students come from sheltered backgrounds, or were the kids who would stay at home in high school and not go out/were not invited to parties. As such, drinking may still be a concept to them that they are not familiar with and do not embrace - that they even frown upon or regard as immoral.

If you had polled other schools (perhaps state schools) you probably would not have gotten responses like "I don't have friends who drink," because it is not a big deal to them.

 

In France, does any group of people regard drinking and partying as morally unsavory or frowned upon? Trashy?

Je ne pense pas qu'il y ait particulièrement de groupe qui perçoivent l'alcool comme néfaste en France.

L'alcool fait un peu partie de la tradition, dans toutes les écoles (même les plus prestigieuses) font des fêtes très alcoolisées.

Il y a bien sûr des gens qui ne cautionnent pas ce genre de pratique. Mais globalement, en tant qu'étudiant, on envisage pas de faire la fête sans alcool. Cela fait partie des choses que l'on ne pourra plus faire une fois dans le monde du travail, on en profite donc un maximum.

Le plus dur est fait quand on a intégré une école, c'est pour cela qu'on en profite...

En fait, l'alcool est souvent utilisé comme désinhibiteur, il permet de plus facilement s'ouvrir aux autres (malgré les contreparties qu'il représente...). Et comme le dit Thibaud, l'alcool fait partie des choses habituelles que l'on trouve dans les soirées étudiantes.

I believe that a lot of the American responses are due to the fact that many people are in fact trying alcohol for the first time and drink uncontrollably. For this reason there is more concern in getting back the person to their room safely. 

Parties at MIT are restricted to not have alcohol unless registered and with police present in the vicinity to prevent breakouts. I have seen in many living communities though (especially fraternities) that parties do not happen unless there is alcohol. Personally, I see this as normal although it is breaking MIT rules. 

I would say that alcohol is also considered normal for those who do take part in drinking, just as in every other college/university. 

I also agree that the fact that we are MIT students, where many people have never been drunk before, affects our responses.  Still, I am curious as to the reaons that we had so many responses like "make sure the friend gets home safely" was because we were educated about how to response in this type of situation. Personally, my high school and middle school health classes were very particular about letting us know the dangers of alcohol at parties - especially how alcohol is the most popular date rape drug and how we should make sure that our friends are doing okay. Did anyone else experience this?  Are there any classes in France that teach dangers of alcohol at parties, etc?

I think Sumin might be right about this.  Starting fourth grade at my school, we had parents come in and tell us how to say no to drugs and alcohol and avoid peer pressure.  It always seemed silly at the time... but then again, of the 2 kids that I can think of that died in my town while I was in high school, both's deaths were alcohol-related (drunk driving and alcohol poisoning).  I don't know if having such a high drinking age encourages situations where that sort of thing is more likely, but I can see how it could.

Even in college, most students aren't 21 until their third year, so though lots of them drink, it's illegal for them to do so.  Maybe that's another reason people are so careful-- if there were an incident involving someone who drank too much, and it were revealed that there had also been underage drinking, there would be trouble.

 

I also agree with Judy and Chrysonthia.  Many of us were nerds in high school.  Nerds aren't known for crazy partying.

Thibad, that is a very interesting point you made. In US colleges, it is a lot of trouble to organize events with drinking, since you have to make sure nounderage students receive alcohol.

My questions for everyone: At what age do people start drinking in France? Is there a legal age limit? Is it considered impolite to not drink with the host?

Is there an awareness of the dangers of alcohol consumption in France? In America, as it was mentioned before, we learn about it as young as middle school. 

Do people ever get transported to the hospital at parties?

As a male, my main fear for my friends is rape. Not the typical argument like the one made above, but the other side of the coin. 

When a woman is clearly drunk, a sober man can be charged with rape, even if the woman consents should she press charges. The court's logic here is that alcohol removes a woman's ability to understand her situation, and therefore relieves her of the responsibility of assent.

The problem is that if both male and female are drunk, the man can still be charged with rape, even if the woman consents. Though alcohol destroys a woman's understanding of her situation (according to the courts), a man is nonetheless expected to maintain his composure. 

Before anyone condemns me for misunderstanding the situation or sexism, this exact situation has occurred numerous times, drunk man and woman both consent to intercourse, later, woman files charges. More often than not, the man gets charged with rape.

Thus, when I see a good friend of mine getting very drunk, I make sure he doesn't go out and do something stupid. I make sure mself or another sober person is with him until he's of no danger to himself.

If it's a good girl friend of mine, I'm making sure she's not getting taken advantage of by anyone. If she consents to something, it's not my place to stop her unless it prevents an obvious, immediate danger (like driving).

As far as organizing parties without alcohol, I think that many of the parties, at least the frat parties, do have alcohol. The frats just keep the alcohol in a designated area and that tends to eliminate mnay of the getting caught underage drinking problems. 

Lots of difference here between the two cultures.

In the last decade in the United States, the news media have put a lot of focus on problem drinking, alcoholism, and Twelve Step programs to help people struggling with substance abuse,  as well as on the devastating consequences tied to excessive drinking, such as rape, physical abuse and violent crime. I found nearly all of the responses of my fellow, younger students heartening.

I was taken aback by some of the French responses, which might be exactly what educated Americans wuold actually do (get drunk with the friend; demand that s/he share) but be too embarassed to admit they might do. 

My questions for the French students: Do you sense that the US has more problem drinking than you do in France? If so, why do you think it might be so? Is part of what is seen as good parenting teaching children at a young age what "responsible drinking" is? Wine is so much a part of your history, culture and economy. How much impact do you think that has in your response?

 

Carlos' response brings up an interesting issue, which is that the differing responses to the alcohol question might be related to the different attitudes towards litigation in the US. His example has to do with the question of rape. Another is that one of the reasons schools are so strict about underage drinking is that they are legally responsible for the students who live on their campus. If an underage drinker were to be harmed by alcohol consumption, they could be sued. So there is an underlying context which may be contributing to schools' education and policies about alcohol consumption - and therefore our reactions to this situation.

Deb,

Je ne crois pas qu'il y ait plus de problèmes d'alcool aux Etats-Unis qu'en France. Cependant, à travers les films, ou les séries télévisées, les soirées Américaines semblent plus "festives" que chez nous en France, et plus répendues.

Je pense que dans les deux pays on trouve de tout : des consommations d'alcool responsables, et d'autres plus irresponsables. Tout dépend des gens présents, du contexte, des amis avec qui vous êtes.

Quant au vin, je ne crois pas que cette présence dans notre culture influe sur ma réponse. Personnellement je n'en bois pas, et comme une grande partie des jeunes de mon age, je bois d'autres types d'alcool en soirée. Il faut juste savoir s'arrêter au bon moment.

Pour compléter le commentaire d'Arnaud, je dirait qu'effectivement, chez les jeunes, le vin n'est pas très bu en soirée. Lorsqu'il l'est, c'est généralement pour de la dégustation, et non pas simplement pour boire.

En France, la limite pour acheter de l'alcool est 18 ans. Il faut se rendre compte que les jeunes français commence les beuveries vers 16 ans pour certains...

Etant donné que la majiorité des élèves de notre classe ont entre 21 et 23 ans, il est probable que la majorité à des soirées ... très alcoolisées :)

Mais généralement, les jeunes se rendent compte assez vite de s'ils peuvent encore boire ou non et j'ai rarement eu l'occasion de voir des comas éthyliques. Plus souvent, les gens en vomissent éventuellement...

L'alcool fait assez bien partie des moeurs des familles, j'ai personnellement commencé avec le vin et des alcools "léger" ( punch, martini ) aux apéritifs et repas familiaux par exemple.

Je pense que les 3 ans de différence sur l'âge de la majorité change assez radicalement le comportement des jeunes de ce côté là.

Toutefois j'avoue que l'on trouve souvent des gens ayant trop bu après une soirée, rentrant à pied ou en tramway/bus ( s'il n'est pas trop tard ).
Bien qu'il y ait parfois quelques histoires sordides sur des viols, il me semble que cela est assez marginal ou souvent consenti ... ?

Cependant le gouvernement a fait d'importants efforts pour instruire la population et réprimander l'alcool au volant. Par exemple, on trouvera souvent des alco-tests dans les soirées. De plus une nouvelle loi a été mise en place imposant l'obligation d'en avoir un à bord d'un véhicule prochainement.

Il y a parfois des dérives et il y a nécessairement des cas où le SAMU/ambulance peuvent intervenir pour prendre en charge des overdoses.
Mais pour citer l'exemple des soirées dans le cadre de notre école, le Bureau des élèves met en place une "infirmerie" pour y "stocker" les personnes ayant trop bu.

Il s'agit de faire attention mais les français semblent plus "joueurs" et ne s'arrêtent qu'en cas de danger :)

 

engage