Je trouve étonnant quelques unes de vos réponses : pourquoi aller voir la police parcequ'une mère gifle son enfant ? Je pense que pour certaines situations, une bonne baffe à son enfant peut être indispensable. Bien sûr il ne s'agit pas d'en abuser ni de faire réèllement mal, mais le geste est important, et parfois il faut savoir en user pour le bien de son enfant.

Quand vous serez parents, pensez vous normal d'avoir à vous justifier auprès d'un officier de police parce que vous avez donné une claque à votre fils qui l'a mérité ? Ne vous êtes jamais vous dit en voyant un enfant complètement irrespectueux : "Celui là, il mériterait une bonne paire de claques !" ?. Il arrive aussi parfois de penser que certains jeunes n'en seraient pas arrivés là où ils en sont si ils avaient reçu quelques claques quand ils etaient enfants.

Sur ce point, je suis complètement d'accord avec Jonathan, je trouve ça aberrant d'avoir à faire appel à la police pour ce genre de situation assez courante. Et effectivement, certaines personnes seraient bien différentes si elles avaient été éduqué avec un peu de discipline dans leur enfance.

J'approuve aussi. C'est sûrement mérité et cela fait partie de l'éducation.

Néanmoins, je pense que toute réaction à cette scène serait déplacée, il s'agit de la vie privée des personnes en question. D'après mon point de vue, le comportement mojoritaire en France face à ce genre de situation reste le fait de passer son chemin sans faire attention.

Je suis tout à fait d'accord avec Emilien, non seulement c'est souvent nécessaire à une bonne éducation, mais intervenir et se mêler de la façon dont la mère éduque son enfant serait plus que déplacé. 

Comme le dit Jonathan, on aura plus tendance à être choqués par des parents qui ne tiennent pas leurs enfants que par des parents stricts. On dit souvent qu'"il y a des paires de claques qui se perdent" quand on voit des enfants insupportables qui gênent tout le monde et que les parents laissent faire.

Growing up in an extremely traditional Asian family, I was not just slapped by my parents, but often beaten if i did something wrong.  For me, this is completely normal.  But in the United States, there are very strict laws against child abuse and one would be surprised as to how little is needed to involve the police.

I could not help but laugh when I saw the comment, "Celui là, il mériterait une bonne paire de claques !" because I agree 100%.  Unfortunately, the law protects the weak, and children until the age of 18, are still considered minors and thereby under protection (from parents in this situation).

This is a tricky situation. I believe that discipline is fine and many times necessary. But, there are also cases that I have seen myself (not as the victim or doer at all) in which parents beat their children for no reason, or do so uncontrollably for a matter that does not require that much violence.

The reason why a police would be called in a situation (and why many may find it perfectly reasonable) is that it may be the most conservative thing to do. How do you know that this child is not being beaten incessantly at home, or for no reason? 

I think it is a matter of parental upbringing. Most parents would not slap their child unless they thought it was an acceptable thing to do. They might have been taught discipline by their parents when they were a child in the same fashion. I do not think this neccessarily makes it right, but am finding reason behind their action. In the United States, I think most people would stay out of the situation, maybe because of our strong individualistic views. We think people should choose what to do for themselves. Would the French see this as a poor thought process?

Considering the French responses' tolerance for physical punishment of children, I want to ask: how common is it to see French children misbehaving in public? The US responses show more disapproval, implying that the appearance, or even the need, for this punishment is rare, but I often am surprised at how permissive American parents are when their children are throwing tantrums in public.

Then again, it's also possible that the difference is due to our different ideas of what a "slap" is. Is child abuse a prevalent crime in French society, and do people pay much attention to it? It's an issue that comes up often in the US, and that gets a lot of attention in the news and in fiction, so maybe Americans are simply thinking of a higher level of violence than the French?

I think many people just see violence of any sort or degree as wrong, and apply this premise to all situations, but to me it doesn't make sense to take such a binary view. There is a difference between education and child abuse that depends on the degree and frequency of violence, and now that I'm older I'm glad my parents sometimes gave me a slap or pinch on my arm when I was obnoxious as a child. My mom used to tell me that a slap hurt her hand as much as my hand, and the only reason she would cause herself pain was to keep me from suffering more in the long run if I wasn't properly taught.

I am wondering the same thing as Anne. Are our different answers because of how frequently child abuse comes up in American media? 

Might it also be because of the problem of teen pregnancies in the US, which lead to irresponsible parents? Maybe because we might hear more about parents mistreating their kids on the news, we're more horrified of it happening in real life. Do French people hear about things like irresponsible parents on the radio or read about it in the news?

En France, un enfant qui dérange tout le monde (par exemple un enfant qui court dans le train en hurlant) pendant que les parents ne font rien pour l'en empêcher est quelque chose d'assez rare, mais qui a le don d'énerver prodigieusement tout le monde. Au bout d'un moment quelqu'un fera comprendre aux parents qu'il faut faire quelque chose (ça peut rester aussi subtil qu'un regard insistant aux parents).

Le thème des parents irresponsables est un thème récurrent, et qui apparait comme une des premières explications quand un enfant tourne mal.

Pour répondre à Anne, quand on parle de claque en public, on pense plus à une claque qui fait du bruit mais qui ne fait pas vraiment mal.

C'est le geste qui est important, ce n'est pas le fait de faire mal. Cela montre que l'enfant a dépassé les bornes.

C'est un genre de dernier recours.

Guillaume's response about irresponsible parents is interesting, and seems to reflect a key difference in French society's view of parenting and discipline. I think that QinQin's use of "irresponsible" meant parents that don't control themselves in their level of violence and who take out their frustrations on their innocent, weaker children. Guillaume's interpretation of "irresponsible" referenced the French mentality that parents not only have a responsibility for the well-being of their children, but also their moral development, and not disciplining a child that's misbehaving is the actual irresponsibility in question.

Maybe this sense of parental responsibility contributes to some of the French responses about letting the child's parent determine the proper method of education, and not intervening in the parent's decision. However, is there ever a sense that using physical punishment signals a loss of control on the parent's part? For example, sometimes it seems that American parents view hitting their kids, or even raising their voices, as a sign of weakness or loss of dignity.

In response to Thibaud, I think (but I'm not sure) that some of the Americans who said they would intervene were thinking of a greater degree of violence, like a slap on the face that may seriously hurt the child, as opposed to a slap that's more sound than force.

I agree with Anne that the responses that suggested intervention were assuming that there is a greater degree of violence - persoanlly, I think that sometimes light slapping can be a means of proper punishment, and that if the child is slapped without a reason, it becomes abuse. Unless it was clear that there was a serious case of violence directed to the child, I would not interfere. 

I would say there is a pretty wide variation of opinion on this topic here.  My mother never used corporal punishment on my sister or me.  We were punished by being sent to our rooms, or being grounded, which worked fine, not that either of us was ever very wild.  I think the idea of slapping or spanking us horrified her.  

But obviously from the other responses, plenty of parents here do slap their kids.  

Are there any child protection services in France? If so, how easy would it be to get their attention and what actions do they take?

What decides what a good parent is in France? How well-behaved or polite their child is? A good parent in the United states seems to be based on how their child behaves or how successful their child is. 

Growing up, I know that I did quite a few things that merited physical punishment, and I agree wtih my parents that they were right in beating me. Shouting or being sent to my room were useless. I got used to the shouting, and I enjoyed reading so much that I often preferred being in my room. But pain, pain was always an effective teacher. 
My parents had a very clear threshold before slapping me, so they were neither unjust nor overly violent. Their controlled violence made me into a better person like no other method could have. 

I do find it interesting that many of the responses on the American side were that they would have an opinion on the mother slapping her child, but would not actually take action. I think this happens more than we expect in American culture--many people are too afraid to speak up for fear of rejection, etc. Are the French horrified by this notion, or does this happen too over there?

A situation that involves any kind of corporal punishment is truly unaceptable, and it is very disheartening to see how people are willing to preend that there is nothing wrong with slapping a human being or worse, make it acceptable. If a man slapping a woman is wrong, why slapping a defenseless child is not? Both are human, and the diference is that the latter does not even has the possibility of defense. By slapping a child, a parent is showing that he or she is willing to use force over logic. It is as if the parents have admitted defeat and will slap the child because they can not argue or educate him or her with their brains, but only with their force. As if the power of their brains is below that of their triceps.

I believe in discipline and teaching, and I will use the advantage of my developed brain to do so rather than my muscles. In the same way I would not hit my husband, I shall not hit a child. I have been slapped when a kid, and it is because I have received more education than my parents that I believe that I am more qualified to use that eucation with my future/ fictional children. That said, is there corporal punishment in schools in France? It has been abolished in the US for many decades, and maybe that accounts for some of the difference in the responses.

I don't recall any of our "fill-ins" that exposed a greater cultural divide than this one!

When I grew up in the United States in the 60s, it was not at all uncommon for parents to hit their children, including with a belt. This was really part of the whole mindset that the home is a man's castle, and it really took a lot before the police intervened. Back then, children were often told to wait all day until their father got home from the office to deliver spankings or beatings. That added a mental cruelty to physical cruelty. This was part of an American legal system that also generally looked away when men beat their wives. Our legal system reflects a great deal of the Bible's approach to such things.

Having the benefit of some age, I can say that parenting in the US seems, overall, to be far, far, far better. Fathers are much more involved in the daily lives of their children in ways that are gratifying for them and for their children. And hitting children, certainly for college-educated parents, generally is considered unacceptable. I don't have children, but if I did, I would hope I didn't hit them.

On the other hand, a lot of parents haven't figured out effective alternative ways to discipline children. That means the rest of us sometimes have to listen to screaming chidlren on airplanes and in shops. It's obnoxious. But I think most parents really are trying to do the best they can.

I guess my American-centric question for the French students is aren't there alternative ways to discipline children rather than slapping them? Are mothers and fathers similarly likely to discpline children? Have attitudes and laws evolved in recent decades over what is an "acceptable slap"? 

The question of discipline is really difficult, but I think that it's important to distinguish between spanking (for example) and beating someone. There are parents who lash out at their children/partners out of emotional frustration in an uncontrolled and very dangerous way, and there are parents who resort to controlled violence (to borrow Carlos' term) as a defined and limited punishment.

I think it's also worth pointing out that verbal violence can do just as much, if not more harm. I have heard stories - and it would be good to hear from the French students - that French parents can be really harsh critics of their children in terms of behavior, clothing, etc. 

In  a lot of the Asian cultures, slapping a child to teach them proper behavior or to punish them for something bad he/she did is not an uncommon thing. In this case, it's just a part of the culture, and while there might be more effective ways to raise a child, I think to some extent we should respect that it is the parents' role to decide what is the best method to raise their own children. Of course, if these slappings or other acts of violence are clearly unreasonably frequent or severe, then there is an obvious problem and the child would need outside help.

In France, how do people deal with these sorts of situations? A lot of you responded saying "I wouldn't react" or "I wouldn't do anything." Why is this? Do you really see no problem in the situation or do you not think it is your place to intervene?

A tous ceux qui pensent que la fessée n'est pas une bonne manière d'éduquer les enfants, que pensez vous d'un cas extrème comme celui du petit Eric Cartman dans le dessin animé South Park ? Bon, je sais, je prends un exemple un peu rude, imaginaire et complètement dérangé mentalement (après les Simpsons, ça me parait un bon exemple ^^) mais comment faire comprendre à ce genre d'énergumènes qu'ils ont dépassé les bornes ? Je prends cet exemple car à peu près tout le monde le connait, mais je connais personnellement des enfants aussi terribles, des "enfants rois" à qui tout est permis par les parents... Donc ça peut arriver aussi dans la vraie vie... Et à chaque fois que je les vois je me retiens de pas les baffer !

En France, je pense que l'on a pas le droit d'intervenir étant donné que l'enfant est sous la responsabilité des parents (jusqu'à 18 ans). Gifler un enfant n'est pas vraiment violent (et ne laisse pas de séquelles) et est assez habituel dans l'éducation (je ne connais pas beaucoup de monde qui ne se soit pas fais gifler au moins une fois par ses parents).

Petite erreur dans mon message précédent, il s'agit de "fait" et non "fais" ...

Merci à Jean-Baptiste pour m'avoir fait remarquer la faute, et désolé pour le double-post.