A good parent is someone ...
Un bon parent est quelqu'un ...
caring, respectful, accepting, wise
encouraging, giving, and teaches you what is important.
listens, understands, accepts
on whom a child can rely.
who helps their children succeed.
who provides what the children need.
takes care of there children, loves them, a friend but also firm, instill good value in their children
that loves their kids.
that teaches their kids.
who always loves you and supports you.
who are supportive while making sure their children are not going to the wrong path.
who cares about their children's future, their education, and showing them as many paths to follow as possible but ultimately leaving the decision to the child
who cares and supports his/her children.
who helps their children do what they love.
who is not your friend when you are small, but grows to become your friend with age.
who is there for you and will help guide you down the right path even when you don't think you need it.
who is your friend, who supports you, who you have fun with
Who listen you when you more need it.
who looks after and support his children.
who loves his children unconditionally.
who loves their children and does what is in their best interest.
who supports what you do, gives advice when needed, raises a well-rounded child
who supports your decisions and helps you achieve your goals
who takes good care of you and loves you very much.
who teaches discipline, responsibility, good ethics, good virtues, and good behaviors to their children.
bien,sage,respectueux
qui accompagne ses enfants tout au long de sa vie.
qui aime les enfants.
qui s'amuse avec ses enfants.
qui prend soin de ses enfants.
qui aime ses enfants, qui partage des activités avec eux, qui arrive à les éduquer, les aide à chaque étape de leur vie. Un bon parent ne doit vraiment pas tout céder et surtout dès le plus jeune âge.
qui aime ses enfants,les respecte,leur offre ce dont ils ont besoin, aussi bien matériel que moral.
qui aime ses enfants.
qui éduque ses enfants.
qui s'entend avec son conjoint.
Qui éduque ses enfants pour qu'ils réussissent.
qui éduque ses enfants, qui a le sens des responsabilités, qui est bienveillant.
qui est attentionné, juste et qui sait se mettre en colère au bon moment.
qui est attentionné, présent et généreux
qui est toujours présent pour ses enfants et qui sait les écouter et leur parler.
qui fait preuve de patience, sait écouter ses enfants et les soutenir dans les moments difficiles.
qui fait que l'intérêt de sa famille passe avant le sien.
qui prend soin de ses enfants.
qui respecte les choix de ses enfants, qui leur démontre l'amour et l'affection et qui sait laisser faire son enfant tout en lui tenant la main.
qui s'occupe de ses enfants et qui sait donner le minimum de ce dont ils ont besoin tant au niveau humain, financier, que de l’éducation.
qui sait se faire respecter par ses enfants, leur inculquer de bonnes valeurs, tout en étant à leur écoute et en leur donnant de l'affection.
Discussion
Recently there has been an article about a woman who calls herself a "tiger mom" because she had strict and almost unreasonable rules for raising her children. Is the typical parenting style of the French more relaxed or strict?
Je pense que en France sa dépend beaucoup de l'enfance qu'on connu les parents, car généralement ils ne veulent pas faire les mêmes erreurs que leurs parents. Pour moi en france, j'ai connu des parents de mes amis qui sont vraiment cool et d'autre vraiment strict.
Je ne pense pas que en France il y a un style de parent en particulier.
Et vous?
It seemed that in the American students often listed their parents as friends - which I think is a view that students adopt as they grow older.
Do your views of your parents change as your get older? If so, how?
Benji,
For the friends with stricter parents, what set them apart? From what I've observed here, sometimes it is the circumstances that set apart how strict a parent is with their child and other times it is the culture. What set your friends parents apart?
Benji,
I don't think that Americans have a particular parenting style either. I think people try to decide on what things work and what things don't. There is a lot of talk in books and in the news about different parenting styles, and debates about what is best. They talk about strictness, freedom, ability to decide for one's self, rebellion, respect, trust, and other topics. Is parenting style a topic of debate at all in France?
Il est très difficile de donner un comportement général des parents en France. La façon dont les parents éduquent leur enfant reste le plus souvent dans le domaine du privé donc on juge surtout en fonction de notre propre expérience.
A mon avis, la plupart des parents souhaitent faire à leurs enfants ce qu'ils n'ont pas pu avoir durant leur enfance (de l'amour, de meilleures études, etc.).
@ Melanie
J'ai aussi entendu parler de cette "tiger mom", mais il s'agit là d'un cas extrème. S'il y a des parents comme ceci en France, ils sont en très petite minorité.
I agree with the idea that parents in America also tend to do better than their parents. I'm also curious about the type of parents that are stricter, because in my experience Pooja is right. First generation Asian families tend to have much stricter parenting styles. Is there such a dived in culture in France that this type of distinction would come into play?
In America, often parents lie to their children when are young, about a little things such as santa clause and the tooth fairy, is this the case in France as well?
I think parents everywhere generally have the same wishes for their children. I think the way they go about educating their children about their values is different and how strongly they discipline their children. Does the method of disciplining and the amount of it vary largely from family to family in France as well?
je pense aussi que c'est un peu difficile de cerner le comportement des parents en France en un seul. çà dépend selon moi des personalités, des points des vues,des des circonstances sous laquelles chaque parent a été mis pendant son enfance. Mais ce que j'ai pu remarqué en tant que tunisienne vivante en France qu'en générale les parents ici sont cool, patients et veulent bien dialoguer avec leurs enfants
Tout ce que vous avez écrit est tout a fait vrai, partout on trouve des différentes façons d'éducation. Pour moi, l'important est que les parents doivent être d'accord sur la vision d'élever leurs enfants et si ce n'est pas le cas, l'enfant souffrira et aura un manque de communication, et à ses yeux il se peut qu'il meprisera l'un de ses parents selon leur comprtement.
De la même manière qu'on rencontre des gens avec des personnalités differentes, les parents éduquent de façon differente leurs enfants. À la base tous les parents souhaitent la même chose pour leurs enfants ( le meilleur) mais tous ne parviennent pas à leurs fins. L'environnement cadre l'éducation, ne laissant pas pleinement l'occasion aux parents de réaliser totalement leurs souhaits pour leurs enfants.
One thing that I have noticed is that different cultures have different views on spanking children as a punishment. In America, for many people, spanking children has come to be looked down upon. What is the general position of the people in France regarding this subject?
Talking about parenting styles, I think both strict and not-so-strict parenting styles both exist everywhere and they both serve for the same purpose. What make the difference is not just the culture of the country they are from but also the personality of the parents which make it become a little bit like saying the culture of individual family. Some parents have dominant personality and want to take more owership in making decisions for their children when they are young (some over-controlling parents want to do that forever) because they think they know more than their children hence make better decision. There are also parents that want their kids to learn how to make decision from young age. I can see the arguments from both side. What work best? We can do a pool here:
What kind of parenting style would you use in the future to raise your kids?
*"poll" not "pool": correction to a typo in my last message
@Lissy: It's dangerous for a parent to try to realize all their wishes for their children though - some parents know where the limits are, but some don't and force their kid to be a lawyer or doctor, etc.; As Melanie mentioned earlier, Tiger Moms are one of those---they have very specific plans for their children
@ Emilie Berger
Je ne suis pas français mais je pense que ces petits mensonges pas trop méchants existent dans plusieurs cultures. Tu sais les enfants posent souvent torp de questions dont nous avons pas de réponses, ou ils ne seront pas à la hauteur de comprendre la réponse à leur question. D'où l'intérêt je suppose. Je suis sénégalais d'origine et nous en avons plein dans notre culture.
@ Meng Heng Touch
Personnellement, je laisserai mes enfants prendre leurs propres décisions comme ce qui veulent faire plus tard comme études. Par contre je leur fairai comprendre le monde en jouant beaucoup sur leur psychologie en leur donnant des exemples sur mon expérience personnelle de la vie. Je serai dur ou pas sur certaines choses suivant nos valeurs que je ne peux pas développer ici.
Des parents doivent avant tout aimer leurs enfants et ne pas oublier qu’ils ont une grande responsabilité. De bons parents, peuvent à la fois être stricts lorsque cela est nécessaire mais doivent aussi être présent dans les bons moments. Un enfant a besoin d’être guidé mais ne doit pas connaître uniquement la punition. Car un étouffement des parents sur leurs enfants peut avoir un effet contraire donnant envi à l’enfant de fuir.
i completely agree with you Denis. I think one main point we're overlooking is how parents reward their children for good behavior or when they choose too. I know some parents who reward results, others reward almost everything (which I personally don't really agree with, since they don't do much disciplining in this case), while others reward effort. Do you see a specific case stand out in France? Do parents tend to reward effort or results? However, I must say that I think there's a connection between the rewarding tendencies of a parent and how they discipline. Rewarding could also potentially be considered as a form of discipline, just a more pleasanter form.
@Pape
Afterall, it still comes back to our own experience when/how we're raised by our parents. Like you have pointed out, I totally agree that our own experience will definitely a very big role in what parenting style we'll use to raise our kids. This speaks for both the cultural efffect and parent's personality effect on their parenting style. We all believe all parents want the best for thier children, that's why some people will definitely choose to raise their the exact same way they're raised if they feel like they are doing pretty well in life. But again, like you pointed out, we might choose to alter our parenting style from how we're raised if we discover some other value that we think it's essential for our kids to have which depends on our own personality and value of what is important and what is not.
To me, I want my kids to be free in thinking and doing whatever they want but I also want to make sure they have enough ability to function in the society. This somehow brings us to a point that we kinda missed which is how the kids behave themselves. It's like a cycle, if my kids behave well, why would I have to ground him? but if obviously he couldn't do 3rd grade math while he is in 5th grade, then there must be something I should do about it.
To be honest, alot parents want their kids to be better than themselves, that's why they try to keep pushing that boundary of working their kids really hard and make sure they succeed in life that sometimes they forgot they're raising a human kids not building Watson(google "Watson Jeopardy" if you didn't get the context). It's hard to blame them.
sorry i just realized my response is too long.
@Denis
I agree that a good parent needs to be both there to celebrate the good times and to be firm when they need to be. I believe that the most difficult part about parenting is finding the boundary between these two scenarios. At what point do you let the child go and at what point do you provide the boundaries for him or her to live in? This will be heavily dependent on age - but there are many other factors as well. Besides age - what do you think are the most important factors?
I agree that parents should be there to reward for the good and have proper punishment or reprimands when necessary. I do think that in America, parents are reluctant to punish their children because they want to be seen as a friend and never want to hear their child say something like '"I hate you." Although shows here like Supernanny and Nanny911 aren't representative of all parents, they show how hard it is for some people to be strict with their children which leads to trouble just as much as being a tiger mom. Most parents are somewhere in between no boundaries and too many boundaries.
@ Meng Heng Touch
Je suis tout a fait d'accord avec toi aussi sur le fait de s'assurer qu'il s'intègre bien dans la société. Pour cela, il est bien parfois de le laisser faire quelques bêtises et pour qu'ils puissent en tirer des leçons.
Bonjour,
je compléterais la réponse de pape en disant que les conséquences éduquent mieux que les conseils. Cependant, il ne faut pas laisser les enfants faire des choses irréversibles qui pourraient détruire leur avenir. Je pense qu'il faut trouver le juste milieu entre les laisser faire des choses ou les controler. Ne pas trop être large ou sévère.
@ Pape.
I think there are two separate ideas at play here. Certainly there are questions that children ask that are difficult for parents to answer, but that doesn't explain the choice to lie about such silly things, such as the tooth fairy or santa clause.
I would believe that responding fictitiously to difficult questions would happen in all cultures, but lies about tooth fairy etc? Those too?