Some of your responses surprised me becaused they sounded almost objective. I thought the tone of our responses were generally humorous and referred to memories of inside jokes or silliness. The tone of your responses seemed (to me) overwhelmingly serious and like they referred to shared secrets, joy, and sadness. Both sides had responses like that, but your responses definitely outnumbered ours.

I'm not sure what that means... From our responses it seems possible that we value the individuality of our friends just as much as (or maybe even more than) we value their loyalty and trustworthiness. From your responses it seems like you value their trustworthiness and loyalty as much as (or more than) their other qualities. What do you think?

I agree that there were a lot more words on our side that were more specific or referred to specific friends more than the French side. The responses on the other side had more to do with the characteristics of what a good friend is.

I'm curious to see what you thought about the words used like sarcastic, huggable, crazy, hilarious. Do you think there is a reason that you didn't choose more personal words to describe friends?

It seemed like only Americans talked about the importance of inspirational friends. Is it important for you that your friends are people you look up to academically, professionaly, or otherwise?

It seemed that the French emphasized the time that they spend together with their friends. In America, I often hear stories of 'best friends' being far away so we only get the chance to see them when we have time. Do you think how close you are with your friend is correlated to how often you see them?

Both French and American students mentioned friends being a rarity, or small in number. They also mention that friends are people they can rely on. It seems like both groups are choosing to comment on close friends rather than friends in general. Personally I consider the term "friends" to refer to a larger group of people than my close friends, it is interesting that both groups of students referred to close friends.

Related to living near friends: some of you mentioned childhood friends (that you still have). Your childhood is quite a few years back now; do you still live near your childhood friends? Haven't you met all kinds of other interesting people? Generally, where do people initially meet their friends in France?

Adding to Jelle's comment, do you find it difficult to keep in touch with you childhood friends? I wish I could keep in touch with my friends from when I was younger but it is difficult because I live so far away now.

:) It might be just me, but I am under the impression that the French have more trustworthy friends, or more friends in general. Because of different cultures I think the understanding of friendship is very different as well, which is why the French seek harder for friends and therefore they get more than we do.

Pour répondre à certains d'entre vous, je pense déjà que si un ami n'est pas amusant pour vous sa devient vite triste. Nous avons l'habitude de passer énormément de temps avec nos amis. Puis je pense que l'honneteté est quelque chose de crucial pour l'amitiè car comment être amis avec quequ'un qui vou manipule????

Honesty is important among friends, but my main question was if you think there is a reason that your responses were so general. The original title was "My friends are/ Mes amis sont..." which I thought referred to my friends specifically. However, the majority of your responses were more like answers to "Friends are/ Les amis sont..."

Anyone else get that feeling?

@ Ana :

Je trouve ta remarque très intéressante, en relisant les réponses j'ai trouvé que certaines réponses mais pas toutes était très général comme si c'était des qualités qu'on recherchait chez des amis et pas celles que nos amis possèdent.

@Ahmed && Ana

Ahmad, aussi ai-je trouvé la remarque d'Ana pertinente.Mais j'imagine que chacun  a répondu en fonction de  son expérience. Chacun aspire a trouver quelqu'un possédant un certain nombre des qualités que l'on apprécie, si jamais tu trouves une personne en possédant quelques unes, tu le nommes ami. Donc en parlant des amis en général, j'evoque inconsciemment les miens.

Il est parfois surprenant de s'arrêter et d'observer ce que l'on aime chez nos amis, ils sont souvent semblables ou au contraire très différent de nous.Que cherchons nous: la complémentarité, la nouveauté de l'autre ou le doux refuge de l'être connu?

@Lissy

I like what you wrote - that it is interesting to stop and think about what we look for in friends. From my perspective, I think all friends share several common interests or personality traits, something that links them together. At the same time, all of these people bring different abilities, interests, and experiences to the group to allow the development of the group.

It is very true that friends come in all shapes and sizes, even among a single group.  It's very interesting to note also how proximity can affect friendship.  Have you ever found that you've become close friends with someone you might not have had that much in common with, but who lived near you or who you saw all the time for some other reason?

Je trouve vos interventions très intéressantes. Je pense que vos idées sont complémentaires. Un ami ce n’est  pas seulement quelqu’un  qui a les mêmes envies, les mêmes points communs que nous mais c’est aussi d’une certaine façon notre miroir, ce que nous ne sommes pas. De ce fait, les différences peuvent nous rapprocher car  ce qu’est notre ami et ce que nous sommes forme un tout et une paire parfaite. C’est en quelque sorte notre moitié sans que cela puisse englober le côté intime. De ce point de vue je pense que l’on cherche dans l’autre la complémentarité.   Par contre, je n’ai pas trop compris l’idée du refuge. Un refuge pour moi c’est comme une protection.  Penses-tu alors maxime qu’un ami est comme un protecteur ? ou vois tu en un doux refuge autre chose qui pourrait englober  des sentiments plus profonds par exemple ?

Je pense que nos réponses sont plutôt générales, car nous ne faisions pas référence à leur personnalité ou leurs caractéristiques, mais aux raisons pour lesquelles ils sont devenus nos amis, c'est à dire tout ce qu'ils ont en commun et qui les rendent si particuliers :).

Yeah, it is interesting that we wrote about specific characteristics of friends we have while the French students wrote about the qualities that make a friend. I think that Ana has a good point about the difference from saying "My friends" as opposed to friends in general. 

Now that you guys pointed out the say "My friends" and just saying friends, I think my response would somehow. When I did this I mostly thought of the friends that I am already friend with and wrote the response based on thier personality. I guess my standard would be stricter or higher or just more general if the statement is "Friends are...". Not that the friends I am having right now are bad or anything, they are great the way they are.

It is interesting to see none of the student from MIT talked about amount of time spent but it's said by a french student that friends are people that he/she spent most of the time with. I guess good friends are someone you can always hang out with but you can still be good friends although you're distance apart. Any possible reason?

Je suis d'accord avec toi. Parfois la vie nous éloigne de nos amis. Cependant, de mon point de vue, on reconnaît un ami quand, même si l'on ne l'a pas vu depuis 6 mois, quand on le croise à nouveau c'est comme si on l'avait vu la veille.

For me, my closest friends happen to be those that I currently do not get to see very often. However, they only were able to become my closest friends through spending lots of time together. In France, because the country is smaller, do you get to see your closest friends more often? Or do people end up only being close to those around them? Does the more laid back culture allow for more time to be spent with friends?